Will It Muffin? Taste Test

– Today we ask the age old question – Will it muffin? – Let's talk about that

(groovy music) – Good mythical morning – We want to encourage you to make our podcast Ear Biscuits a part of your weekly listening routine It comes out every Monday Subscribe wherever podcasts are found – Yes

Breakfasts is one of my top five all time favorite meals of the day It's right up there with fourth meal and toilet snack But when you're breakfasting on the go, you'll probably turn to the most reliable breakfast pastry known to man, the muffin – Oh yeah So in honor of that bready little breakfast beast, we're gonna stretch the outer limits of the imagination and the imagimuffin

It's time for – [Both] Will it muffin? – Now we've done will it cupcake before so let's talk about the differences between cupcakes and muffins Cupcakes are mini cakes They're made with cake flour – Mmhmm Muffins are typically made with bread flour or whole wheat flour

– Cupcakes are always sweet – Muffins can be sweet or savory – And most importantly, cupcakes are frosted – While muffins are occasionally topped with a glaze or a crumble but never frosting – Okay, now that we have cleared that up

Let's get to tasting our first muffin (breaths heavily) Why has there never been a post workout muffin that can replenish your electrolytes, right? Well now there is We call this mufferade – Mufferade Josh, tell us and them what you did

– [Josh] So I started with a muffin base except I also reduced about two gallons of Glacier Freeze Gatorade into a syrup – Glacier Freeze, huh? – [Josh] It's the best It's the coldest, especially when you bake it at 400 degrees – Right – [Josh] And then I actually set some of the reduced Gatorade with gelatin and then mixed the solid chips in there to give it those little steam marks that a blueberry muffin would give you

– The thing about glacier freeze though is that, with what's happening with the glaciers, there's kind of a sadness in this now – [Josh] Seems insensitive – Well not insensitive but I think it could bring awareness – Let me say that it's interesting that you say blueberry muffin 'cause when I smell it, I just smell a fruity muffin – [Josh] And it should taste like blue

– Taste the glacier – Have you desheaved your muffin yet? – Well I was trying to keep, oh, it is sticky I like a sticky muffin – I like to get a little bit of the muffin top and a little bit of the muffin side on my first bite – I'm more of just a topper

– Really? – Yeah – Okay What in the world? – That's a sour punch of goodness – Hold on, you have discovered something here sir – It's heavy too

Why's it so heavy? – [Josh] It's about 1,100 calories of just pure sugar in there I think – Yeah Can't go wrong with that I love the consistency to which its been baked it's not overbaked, you did a great job there – It doesn't taste like fruit

– [Josh] Is this Great British Bake-Off now? (laughs) – It tastes like glacier ice – Put me in, coach, put me in, I'm ready For the second half – [Rhett] Gatorade, will it muffin? – [Both] Yes! – I've never understood why the British get to call all desserts pudding and whatever the heck an English muffin is a muffin Words have meanings, England

– Yeah – So today, we're taking an Egg McMuffin which is called that because it's on an English muffin and finally making it into a real freaking muffin It's the badabababa I'm muffin' it – Oh, I didn't know how it would come out as a verb – Muffin' it

Alright, and you got some residual McDonald's packaging here – I actually made that myself – What did you do sir? – [Josh] So I took a bunch of Sausage McMuffins actually it's better than the Egg McMuffin sausage over canadian bacon any day and I chopped up the English muffins and mixed that with the cheddar cheese into a muffin batter with a little bit of maple syrup and then I actually encased some full egg and sausage on the inside and then a little ketchup drizzle and hash brown crumb topping on top – That is immaculate You've immaculately conceived an Egg McMuffin muffin

– So it feels like I got to get a bite that gets the ketchup on the top and the cross section – [Josh] You got to unhinge the jaw – I got a little mouth – Dink it Oh! That hurt but it was worth it

– I just stretched a little bit more than my jaw was ready for – This is so nice – That's real special That is really special – It's so cakey

– And somehow you feel a little bit more refined What are you having this morning? Just a muffin, just a muffin Well technically an Egg McMuffin muffin – Hashbrowns I'm oh, this is so good! I don't even care

I don't even care man – Okay, Egg McMuffin, will it muffin? – [Both] Yes! – So when you think Russia, you probably don't think muffin We're about to change that We have incorporated some traditional flavors from the Russian palette into a muffin, specifically borscht There's a lot of consonants, I don't know how exactly to say that, vodka and caviar

We call this one, Vladimor Pukin – So we're basically saying, it ain't gonna be good – That just means, we don't think we're gonna have a good time with this one – Now when I first saw this out of the corner of my eye, I was like oh, an elongated blueberry And now I'm like of course it's caviar

– [Rhett] We said what was in here but is there anything else special about it? – I don't know what borscht, I don't know what that is – [Josh] So borscht is a, it's a vinegared beet and beef soup – Beet and what? – [Josh] Beef Beef broth with a lot of beets and vinegar in it and that's what formed the base flavor of the muffin with two kinds of caviar mixed in there and then a little bit of Russian village style sour cream – Is that where everybody in the village spits in it? – [Josh] Yeah

– Now it's a meatloaf really in a muffin form but it's not nearly as dense as the previous one It's light for what you think it is – Are those little, is that fish eggs right there, like the big dilly dallys? – Yeah, those are the big boys – [Rhett] We got big fish eggs and little fish eggs – Oh my gosh

– Okay, dink it (moans) okay, don't worry about it – [Josh] Keep an open mind – Get a little bit of that caviar I think it'll take some of the edge off – You think we might like it? – [Josh] I think you might

The flavors are there – What do we need to think about in order to like it? Picture– – Mother Russia – Not my mother I'll just picture my own mom, how's that? – Okay – Thanks mom, you made this for me, I know you love me

Didn't know you were Russian Fishy I feel like I'm swimming in it – If I quantum leaped into my body right now having not been here before and this was, right now and this was in my mouth and I'm chewing, I would have no point of reference for what was in my mouth right now – It's very weird

There is a meaty quality – Shout out to Scott Bakula I thought I saw Scott Bakula in the airport but it was a guy who looked like Scott Bakula It was the most underwhelming celebrity non sighting in the history of non celebrity sightings – Wow, yeah

I'm sorry I think I'm gonna be able to swallow it but the thing that is saving it for me is that sour cream – [Josh] Yeah – [Rhett] The village sour cream – [Josh] The village spit, man, it's good

– I didn't puke Points But I don't want another bite – Did not enjoy it the least bit but maybe with further traveling and expanding of our minds, we bring our moms along, change our mind but for now– – We're going to Russia, moms – [Link] Russia, – [Both] Will it muffin? No! – Okay, let's move on from fish eggs and dive even deeper into the ocean with a muffin filled with all types of seafood

We're calling this the muffin diver and it's dark down there Look at that – [Rhett] Josh, what makes it so dark? – [Josh] Oh just trapped souls of divers who never came up to the top Squid ink also It's the squid ink

– That's what makes it black and this is some uni on top? – [Josh] That's some uni There's some little cherry stone clams in there and then lots of seaweed as well – [Rhett] And it's an octopus? – There's octopus coming out What else is in here? – He just said it all – Clams? I can't listen when I'm looking at something this nasty

– Cherry stone clams – Good, I don't want to know actually – [Josh] Those are good – This has got some density to it You packed this one very, very tight

– [Josh] I don't know what happened with this one – See the thing is– – It's very small – If I'm eating fish that tastes fishy, I'm okay with it but when you put it in this friendly format of a muffin, I'm offended So I'm just trying to give it a chance – As somebody who actually enjoys sushi, I've never really been able to appreciate uni

There's been a few times where I've tried, I can get it in my mouth and then I have to distract the rest of the table as I spit it into the napkin – There's no hope for me I'm gonna bite this without biting the uni to give it even a fighting chance of willing – That means I got to be the uni man I'm gonna do a little bit of uni and there is some octopus over here

So here we go – Dink it, sink it (groaning) – Oh God – It's the uni part man, isn't it? – I'm gonna fight it down – Oh you can do it, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it

– It's like I'm doing one of those beach clean ups but the rule is Rhett has to eat the stuff on the beach 'cause it looks like an oil slick – That's a new level of community service – Screw you, Axxon – What I'm eating is not good at all but if I focus on the cakeiness and separate it from the seafoodness and I think I could get there – I got something you can barf in

– Because I haven't done the uni, I'm okay This is okay This is seafood muffin Happy, happy – I think the only way to get through this is to Scott Bakula back into my body

– Hey man, thanks for joining us You should just swallow what's in your mouth, do you like it? – Who am I? Where am I? What kind of problem do I have to solve this episode? – I'm saying uni-less this might I'mma leave it to you sir – I never thought I'd be making quantum leap references and I apologize for it – Don't

I'm leaving this one to you Seafood, will it muffin? – No! Now do you think it's a good idea to take our moms to Russia but that could be difficult to plan so until then, let's just put moms in a muffin Yes, we have put human breast milk and pig uterus into a muffin because that's the best way we can approximate moms – And then we're able to call it a milfin – Yeah

– Oh gosh If I Scott Bakula'd to me right now, I would say wait, hold on, let's have a conversation – For those of you who are lost about Scott Bakula, Scott Bakula was the star in a show called Quantum Leap and every single show, he would leap into someone's body and have no idea who he was, at what point in history he was – But he had a mission – But he had a mission

– And he had to complete it in 60 minutes minus commercial time So like 44 minutes or less – And there was an older guy who was like his sherpa that was always there I don't know how that worked, I can't remember – And there was an angel

– Yeah – And that was Michael Landon – There wasn't an angel but it should be a reboot – Josh, what have you done? – [Josh] About Quantum Leap coming back or about the muffin? – Are you a fan, Quantum Leap? – [Josh] I've never seen it, no I love me some Bakula though

– That's all he's done – [Josh] I took some pork uterus and simply boiled it, mixed it into a very neutral muffin base so you can taste a lot of the uterus with of course breast milk and then I've done a breast milk brined whole pork uterus on top – That's a uterus? – Oh gosh, Rhett – Where does the baby go? – Oh no, it's just curled up It could be worse

It could actually be Mother's Day We could be feeding this to our moms After the lie detector test, they're very squirrely when coming around – Oh man I don't know if I'm gonna be able to get this uterus– – Maybe it's good

Don't think about what it is – Oh yeah, maybe uterus is good – It's good for some things – Okay, do it (groaning) – Got to get some more muffin

(gagging and coughing) – Oh God (gagging) I can't do it, man I can't do it I can't do it I got to get it out

Ugh! Ugh! Hi mom – Hold on, I just got here from the past Did I miss something? – Your mission is to put your face into that bucket, get what you spit out and actually swallow it That's what I just did – Oh my gosh, uh uh

Oh! – Moms everywhere – You do good work – We still believe in you, you're still fighting the good fight – Yeah, you're the best type of person – Just because we couldn't get uterus down, doesn't mean that we don't appreciate moms So pig uterus and breast milk, will it muffin? – [Both] No! – Okay, so what have we done today besides blatantly promote Quantum Leap? Is it on Hulu or something? – It should be

– I hope it's somewhere so you can watch it – We've done a service to the world 'cause out there somewhere somebody was looking at a recipe for pig uterus and breast milk muffins and now they're not going to make them – Yeah and Scott, any time you want to come by, just pop in literally and taste whatever we got – Yeah, thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing – You know what time it is – Hello I'm Mill, Lucy, Ramut, Muffin, Murphy, Garfield

We're all in Denmark and it's time to spin the wheel of mythicality – There was a muffin in there – Yes there was – Click the top link to watch us taste the chicken Caesar muffin in Good Mythical More – And to find out where the wheel of mythicality's gonna land

The Ear Biscuits mug is essential for all Ear Biscuits listeners Get yours now at mythicalstore

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