Will It Milk? Taste Test

– Today we ask the age-old question – Will it milk? – Let's talk about that

(funky electronic music) (fire crackling) – Good Mythical Morning! – And Good Mythical first episode of season 15! – Woo! – Bam! And to start the new year and new season off right, we're going to shift the boundaries on one of life's most familiar beverages, cow teat juice Now, granted, there are a growing number of alternative non-cow milks already There's soy, almond, coconut, cashew, macadamia, many more, but those are boring Ours are going to get weird – Yes they are, but first, if you wanna see us live in concert, you're in luck 'cause we've added three new shows to our concert series in April

We're gonna be in St Louis, Missouri, Columbus, Ohio, and the DC slash Maryland area Tickets go on sale Friday but you can go to rhettandlinklivecom today to sign up for our newsletter to get early access to tickets and VIP – Mm-hm, and plus tickets are still available– – Yeah, tickets are still available

– In London and Nashville so that's at the same website Now, let's get into milk mode It's time for– – [Rhett and Link] Will It Milk? – Now since our cow would not cooperate to make anything other than boring milk, we are gonna mimic the approach of your common nut milk to make ours today – All you gotta do is put nuts in a milking sac We're gonna be saying that a lot, just go ahead and let it sink in

Add water and then let it soak two to three days, then you ring out the sac and bam, you got bonafide drinking milk So Mythical Chef Josh has done with this with a bunch of things that aren't nuts I mean figuratively, they are nuts– – Yes – But not actual nuts And all we gotta do is squeeze 'em, starting with Twinkies

– Yes Not only are Twinkies delicious, bring in the sac They're also great apocalypse food because they last forever, the only problem is, they're not good for you unless you turn 'em into milk, 'cause milk does what? – A body good? – Yes – Why are you so close to me? – 'Cause I'm emphasizing this – 2019, you're gonna be this close to me? – Yeah there's gonna be a lot of this emphasis

– (chuckles) Okay, all right – All right so we, squeeze it, man – Well what's in this bag? – There's 28 Twinkies in there, half of which are blended and the other half were left whole – We call this Twinke de leche (Rhett softly moans) – You're being real ginger with it

(Rhett groans forcefully) It's springing a leak on the side – [Rhett] Well yeah you told me to go hard – [Link] Are there holes everywhere? – [Josh] Yeah, you're doing great – [Rhett] (groans) Milk hard Oh (chuckles)

– Milk what? – Milk hard! (chuckles) If you're gonna milk, milk hard! – Milk hard? – That should have been the campaign in the 80s – Speaking of milk hard, I already got one that's fully done Boy that was difficult, difficult to make this one – You know what, making milk is hard! Is another way – I think you've got enough, dude

Seems like a great idea Dink it– (glasses clink) Drink it – Oh – It's so sweet – Oh

– I mean, wow, you'd think it'd be watered down a little bit, but– – That's just water and Twinkies? – [Josh] Yup – This does not taste watered down one Twink – No, it tastes so Twinkie How do you make Twinkie into an adjective? – So good This is so good! – Twinkie-ee

– I'm so, it's 2019 We're back – The year of the Twink – Yes (crew laughs) Twinkies, will it milk? – Yes

– Yes! – Back during our Munch Madness tournament, Cheetos came in second place after losing to Lay's sour cream and onion chips, but maybe they would have won if we had have milkified them Link's got a bag full of three full bags of Cheetos – Oh yeah – [Rhett] Cheeto milk just has a good ring to it (Link moaning forcefully) It's hard, isn't it? – Oh yeah

Milking ain't easy (groaning forcefully) Oh, that's plenty Woo, gotta get the blood out of my face now (chuckles) – Yeah, you thought I was being dramatic, but no, squeezing a nut sack is not easy – We call– (chuckles) We call this Milkeetos

Dink it Drink it too – I thought this was gonna be horrible – It's corny It's greasy

– And– – Cheesy – Yeah I am getting the exact flavor profile of a Cheeto in liquid form – But it– – Which is everything I dreamed it would be – But look, there's like a whole thing of oil on top

– [Rhett] Don't look at it, don't look at it – Like look at it, it's like glistening grease on top How is there so much grease in a Cheeto? Look at that – Interestingly, mine is not as greasy because– – They whisk it – It was homogenized

– I think Josh whisked that one right before he brought it out – I requested homogeneization of my milk – But a fresh-squeezed Cheeto is greasy and that gives me a negative vote I don't know if, are you saying the taste overrides it? – I think it's great I mean it's not as good as Twinkie milk

I mean it's not the year of the Cheeto You know, I'm not going that far – Yeah, it's too fatty for me, man – Really? – I guess we can go split decision on this one – [Rhett] Cheetos, will it milk? – No

– Yes! – It always makes me feel sad when I visit a farm and see the chickens staring jealously at the dairy cow's udders That pink finger balloon gets all the farmer's attention So in an effort to make farm chickens feel better, we're gonna make fried chicken milk – Okay – And this is Popeye's fried chicken breast

We're using that just so we can call this breast milk (Rhett chuckles) – Okay – Squeeze it in there – As you can see– – 12 full chicken breasts, half blended without the bones, the other finely chopped with the bones The question is are we making broth? The answer is no, we're making breast milk! – And I am squeezing this breast milk directly into the new redesigned Good Mythical Mug that you can get for yourself at Mythical

store – Oh yeah – Oh gosh – I already got a glass of breast milk over here – I'm not gonna make any breast squeezing jokes

– So with chicken broth, you don't have the fried– (Rhett grunts) Stuff – Oh man – So that's what makes this different, special, and potentially better – Milking would be a great workout That could be the 2019 craze

Everybody's getting pumped from milking! – Yes You do it like this and you get the pecs You do it like this and you get the delts You do it like this and you get the glutes You can't see what I'm doing 'cause it's under the table

– Okay, you think Billy Blanks would get in with that? – Yeah he's sitting around waiting for– – Billy Blanks is back and he's milking (mugs clink) – Dink it, mm – What? How does this keep happening? It literally is again, the exact flavor profile– – Yes – Of fried chicken – And I don't have to chew

– We could sell this to the astronauts – Fried chicken without the chewing Astronauts line up It's hard for them to line up 'cause they're floating all over the place but get in line, boys And girls

Anyone can be an astronaut – Hold on I'm not kidding This could be the future of food 'Cause think about it– – I agree, man

– You're being hydrated and you're being, what's the word for hydrated that's– – Made happy – That's not water Sustained? They need a word for putting solid foods in your body that's the same word that there is for hydrated You gotta stay eat-drated (Link chuckles) – But then we wouldn't use that word 'cause that's not what this is

– No you're getting it I'm saying you're getting the nutrients, you're getting the liquid You don't need to eat chicken, you just need to drink chicken milk – It's like eating without any of the work – [Rhett] Fried chicken, will it milk? Yes

– Yes – I'm what you might call a lignophile That's someone who loves wood, but all the many ways that I've experienced wood over the years, I've never seen it milked Until now – Just get a little smell of this wood

This is mesquite and cedar wood Oh don't hesitate to get right in there – Wow, love it Love everything about it – I'm not gonna put that back in the milk

– I wanna be hydrated with it – Okay – Oh oh oh oh – Whoa! She's already gushing Here we go

Oh that's brown Now we don't have a name for this one yet but we do have a slogan Got wood? – That's like a shirt that would be on sale for $7 on Myrtle Beach – (chuckles) Right – You know? – Oh there it is

– Link, would you like some milk? – Yes – Would you like to taste this milk? – Yes – Would you? – Yes – It looks like cider It looks like cider

– It looks like cider Probably tastes like wood water – It's definitely a sipper – Yeah, you don't– (chuckles) Yeah that's right – I really, I want to save this

– Savor it? – Again, we do a lot of things on this show We discover a lot of things and the thing I have discovered is that when you milk something, you're getting its essence – Yes – It isn't like, oh, milk Wood milk tastes like something else

No, wood milk tastes like wood – Yeah, it does not water it down – It tastes just like you're drinking wood – Don't go hard with this stuff I think you'll become laminated inside

– There's something to it though I mean, is it horrible? Is it as horrible as you thought it would be? I thought this was gonna be awful – I think it needs like bourbon – I think it could use a little simple syrup, maybe some lemon – Yeah

But we keep sipping it – Mm-hm – Take it camping? – Yeah, take it camping – Or make it when you're camping – What happens when you throw it on the fire? Does it flare up or does it go out? Who knows, we gotta go find out

– Let's find out Wood, will it milk? – [Rhett] Surprisingly, yes! – Yes! – Next up, we're not gonna do cockroach milk, not because it's too nasty but because it's actually already been done, yeah, there's a certain cockroach that births live young and then feeds them milk, so that just raises the bar for us and that bar contains spiders – Does the cockroach have nipples? – It's an excretion which then they eat so in that definition– – Yum – Of milk, it is milk So maybe let's, do you wanna squeeze first or open it? – Let's squeeze first

– Squeeze first – So we know what we're up against There's a lot of spiders in here We've got a zebra tarantula We've got, well actually, 30 of them

(chuckles) And then we got five in tact completely Gah And we call this the amazing spider milk (Link chuckles) ♪ Spider milk ♪ ♪ Spider milk ♪ ♪ Milks whatever a spider milks ♪ The spider teat The spider nipple

Spider nipple, that'd be a good superhero – It'd be a really small superhero Okay I haven't smelt it yet – Why is it pink? – I have one over here that's remade

It is pink, and what, oh come So you got a, what is that, tarantula parts? What is this, a garnish? – [Josh] I think it slipped through the milking bag when I did it – Good one – [Link] Yeah, that is not the type of garnish that– – I'm getting the smell, I'm getting the smell Oh gosh

(Link retches) I'm just gonna– – It's earthy – Show you the inside of this, just– – Dump it right here – Dump the outside here Just to show you what spiders look like when they get milked – [Crew Member] Oh

– Oh wow Oh gosh – Golly That, that is awful I think we should have drank it before I showed you that

– Yeah – Look at the spider flesh Oh gosh! Spider flesh, it's that color – Yeah take that Yours is gonna be fresh

Mine, who knows how long mine's been sitting out Okay (whimpers) Okay Okay, it's a new year, it's a new season – If the theory holds true that– – Same old us

– The milk version of things is the essence of things, then this is the essence of spider and that sounds like a cool cocktail Have you tried essence of spider? (glasses clink) They have it at that place (Link gags) (Rhett retches) Oh gosh I swallowed a little, oh! (both retching) Oh no! Oh! – I actually vomited and Twinkie came out Which, hot tip, if you're gonna drink spider milk, start with a whole bunch of Twinkie and a little bit of Cheeto because– – That's awful! – Oh

I actually, I retch a lot but I don't vomit much I guess 2019 Bring it Okay, all right What did that taste like? – The essence of spider

– It's earthy, there's like a dirtness quality to it that doesn't help – It tastes like– – Oh gosh – Everything that– – We should just– – Is a spider and everything that a spider is around and just look at it We didn't need to drink it to find out, we just, we just, we did, so you wouldn't accidentally make spider milk – Spiders, will it milk? – No! – No! – Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing

– You know what time it is – Hi I'm Sarah the cheese lady We're here in Tulsa and we're carving cheese – And it's time to spin– – [Kids] The Wheel of Mythicality! – She's still going at it! – Yep – Click the top link to watch us try popcorn milk in Good Mythical More

– And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land We've turned the GMM mug green for season 15 Get yours now at Mythicalstore

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