The Rock Vs. 3 Mark Zuckerbergs: Who would win?

– Today we debate The Rock versus three Mark Zuckerbergs – Let's talk about that

(funky electronic music) (fire crackles) – Good Mythical Morning – Now every so often a topic of debate rises to the surface of our cultural zeitgeist in a manner in which it simply cannot be ignored, like The Stones or The Beatles or is a hot dog a sandwich or could Jack had fit on that door with Rose? The answer is yes, my god, yes, why did you let him die, Rose? – That's right, today we are once again debating because it's been quite awhile since we've done a Debate-O-Rama– – Yeah – And we saw some chatter on the GMM Reddit thread asking for it to come back so we said hey It's a good idea – Yeah

– So we're gonna do it and today the debate we have chosen is who would win in a fight, The Rock or three Mark Zuckerbergs – Yeah the thing everyone's talking about – Oh yes, it's highly contentious – Zeitgeist – I'll take The Rock

– And I am taking three Mark Zuckerbergs – I think I have the more difficult one – Okay we'll see It's time for Debate-O-Rama Hello hello

– It's great to be back in another debate format – Good to see you again, I liked your old hair cut better – Oh, you know why you couldn't find your lucky underwear this morning? 'Cause I'm wearing 'em – Your dog– – Gentlemen Good morning

– You have a chin – Welcome to the debate arena – Thank you, thank you – Mr Link, you have 90 seconds for your introduction to start

Are you prepared and ready? – Yes I am, Stevie – Okay, your introduction starts now – Thank you Stevie, thank you Rhett, thank you Mythical Beasts I'm gonna make this very easy for everyone here Not only is The Rock a pro wrestler, in 1991 he played defensive tackle for the University of Miami's national championship team and then he went on to play in the Canadian Football League

This man is literally a championship athlete who performed at a professional level in two different arenas but this is Mark Zuckerberg – Hey there (crew laughs) – Otherwise known as iron deficiency man The Rock was named Man of the Year, no Man of the Century by Muscle and Fitness Magazine Something called Fast Company called Mark Zuckerberg a unicorn? A unicorn, now, if you wanna take three actual unicorns versus The Rock then I think we would almost start to have a fight

In 2017, The Rock tore his labrum but still filmed Jungle Cruise Mark Zuckerberg on the other hand, and this is completely true, doesn't even have a labrum He sold it to the devil in exchange for all the demon's personal information I will conclude my opening remarks with this devastating photo I just wanna make a few points about this

First of all, no, this is not a photo from bring your adopted kid to work day Yes Mark is actually flexing in this photo and by the way, The Rock's chest tattoo is of him beating up three Mark Zuckerbergs The writing's on the Facebook wall – Thank you, Mr Link

– The Rock would easily defeat three Mark Zuckerbergs in a fight! – Time's up, bro! – Mr Rhett – Yes – It is time for your 30 second cross examination – So first off, point of clarification, did you say Canadian Football League? – Yes

– Let the record show Canadian And as long as we are using photo evidence, take a look at this photo of The Rock Let us not forget that this is also the same person that you've been arguing for There's no way to prove that his other two biceps are not just two other fanny packs And he also looks like your Aunt Vicky who was a lunch lady

– True – Also, you've been calling him The Rock I would let the record show that his actual name is Dwayne and I will be referring to him as Dwayne because using The Rock is a mind trick that you're using to fool the people – That's time – Thank you Mr

Rhett – Dwayne's a cool name I think – It's time for your 90 second introduction – Like Dwayne with a D– – And favor – On the beginning

– Excuse me Mr Link In favor– – D-Wayne – Of three Mark Zuckerbergs and your introduction starts now – Thank you Link, thank you Mythical Beasts

Dwayne weighs 260 pounds That's one big Johnson, I'll give you that And you might think that Zuckerberg is just a typical skinny fat dude with no physical prowess but it turns out that the Zuck is sneaky strong Take a look at this (rock music) He's basically Zucka Jawea

(chuckles) – Gosh – The video cuts out just before Mark feeds the baby from his teat And Mark is one cut-throat SOB He allegedly stole the whole idea for Facebook from his friends and then laughed all the way to the bank Zuckerberg's the kinda guy who shows up to a fight with a pair of brass knuckles or maybe even a sharpened shiv made from the spines of users who have unwittingly handed over their privacy rights

Meanwhile, Dwayne is nothing but a professional wrestler where your whole job is actually to protect your opponent He's probably never actually hurt a single person in his life! Has Zuckerberg ever hurt anybody? Yeah, maybe you should ask the Winklevoss twins if they're not too busy panhandling on the streets of Santa Monica And we all know Zuck has everyone's personal info in his own little private database Who knows what kind of dirt he has on Johnson? Whether it's his secret calf implants or how many times he looks at his eighth grade girlfriend's Facebook profile Get over it, Dwayne! Whatever Mark knows, Dwayne will probably forfeit the fight just to stop him from telling the world about it

– Okay that's time – Mark Zuckerberg fights dirty! – Thank you Mr Link, now it's time for your 30 second cross examination – I agree that he fights dirty but The Rock knows dirty

He was a heel and he has a degree in criminology The dude knows it, but listen, do you expect any rational person to believe that a man who spends his Thursdays doing this, uh-huh, just an average day, would he have any problem dismantling any number of this? – Because I have contacts right I can't see that well – Right me too – And before I put my contacts in, I often go look to see what's going on on Facebook too

But I'm very nearsighted so I'm like eh – Eh – Okay – How is Mark Zuckerberg going to beat The Scorpion King when he can't even beat astigmatism? – That's time – He's sneaky, man

– Mr Rhett Now it's time for your 30 second rebuttal – Okay your whole argument relies on fake movie magic Let's see that picture again

What you don't see is off to the left there, there's a whole team of producers and makeup artists making Dwayne look safe and gorgeous, which I admit he is – Yeah – But Mark is an actual man's man In 2011, using only a stun gun and a knife, Mark killed a goat and fed it to Twitter founder Jack Dorsey This is 100% true so the math is simple

One Zuck can kill one goat Rock isn't even, Dwayne, isn't even the goat wrestler, greatest of all time so truly– – I know what goat stands for – Three Zucks can kill one not actual goat Hello, calculus – Okay, Link

Mr Link– – Don't call me calculus – It's time for your 30 second rebuttal – You think killing a little ninny goat is a big deal Look at this

– Old habits never die So I just took a chunk out of my hand for training too hard again so ol' iron grip, here we go but they say if you kiss it, it makes the pain go away so – The Rock drinks his own blood and it only makes him stronger And if you're wondering, his blood type is A1

Sauce I'd like to donate the rest of my time to just thinking about the Rock Wow I'm being hurt, it's like so aggressive – And that's time

Mr Rhett, your 30 second, second rebuttal – The fact that The Rock had to kiss his own boo-boo (chuckles) doesn't do a lot for your argument But I will also notice that in all the evidence you provided, Dwayne is always alone, meaning that he's become this pampered celebrity who has no friends, AKA backup Mark on the other hand does have backup in the form of Rock's greatest enemy Vin Diesel

Take a look at this picture and look how cool they both look Especially the Zuck in those cool-ass glasses (laughs) So now you've got one Dwayne versus three Zucks and a Diesel Well it Zucks to be you if you get my Tokyo drift (laughs) – Oh gosh

– Okay Mr Link – I am sorry– – Woo hoo – I am sorry for you because– – No cross talk

– The Rock is watching this – That's hot! – No cross talk – You are going down – That's hot! – Gentlemen, gentlemen, please Mr

Link – Don't– – It's time for your final 30 second rebuttal – Don't get me started with backup 'cause I don't wanna bring the Nation of Domination into this but I'm not clear exactly how three Zuckerbergs are gonna defeat– – Pretty sure they're retired – One Rock You're saying that he can slaughter a goat and then two of them will latch on to an appendage and they're trying to scream Facebook secrets at him? Is that how he's gonna defeat him? – Something like that

– Well listen Each arm can shut up a Zuck and then the animated Hawaiian God that is tattooed on his body can take out the third one, with ease – Thank you Mr Link ♪ You're welcome ♪ – Mr

Rhett – Are you talking about Moana? – It is time It is time for your closing statement – Close it up – Ladies and gentlemen, there's a scene in Jurassic Park II where a pack of tiny dinosaurs kills a man by swarming him and pecking at his every inch of flesh until the jungle's stream runs red with his blood

That's exactly what would happen if three Mark Zuckerbergs faced off against one Dwayne Johnson – From pecking at him – Zuckerberg is a vicious, wiry, win at all costs kind of lizard person who tore off his moral compass years ago Dwayne is a genuinely good guy, a fair fighter, and that's why the evil Zuck would turn him into mince meat Mince meat that he would then share with Twitter founder Jack Dorsey

– Okay – You're pecking me to death – Thank you – Yes he is – Mr

Link, it's time for your closing statement You have 30 seconds – Ladies and gentlemen, The Rock would render three Zucks into a pile of roody poo candy ass jabronis It's what The Rock does Now if this were a debate about who could code and articulate a robot using JavaScript the fastest, it might be a different story

But then again, if my poop were made of gold, I'd have some pretty fancy stains on my underwear In a royal rumble between three Mark Zuckerbergs and The Rock, The Rock would win with a fast and furious rampage that would spell certain doom for Zuckerberg and if you ballers don't believe me, I bet you do believe in the tooth fairy If you smell– (vibrating tongue) What The Rock is Jumanji – Okay, thank you gentlemen This concludes this debate

– It doesn't matter! – Got a little weird there at the end (chuckles) Your logic fell apart What did you think? – Let us know in the comments below – Is it one Rock or three Zucks? – We'll be reading Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing

– You know what time it is – Semper curiosus Greetings, Mythical masters I am Mythical Beast Burt Baking I'm going to make fried chicken and it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality

(squawks) – That chicken, that chicken's not happy about fried chicken I get it Click the top link to watch us play Super Mario Party in Good Mythical More – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality is gonna land – Wanna paste my face in a text? – Or slap what the crap as a response? – Now you can with Rhett and Link stickers for iMessage

– Available now in the Apple App Store

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*


This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.