Post Malone Nursery Rhyme Raps

– 1Pac, 2Pac, buckle your shoe-Pac – Let's talk about that

(playful, upbeat music) (fire crackling) – Good mythical morning – Guess what everybody, we got Post Malone here Welcome Post (cheers and applause) – What's going on, guys? You all right? – Welcome to the show, man – Hey, thanks for having me, man, I'm a big fan

– Likewise – Yeah, yeah – Really? – Yeah, I've been watching for four years – That's crazy – It's a pretty, I mean, give or take

– Okay, but who's counting? – Give or take four years or so – Multiple years – Give or take – All right, here's what's happening on this episode Later we're gonna create some Post Malone memes with the man himself, plus we'll be stuffing a Slim Jim inside of a churro

– But first, who the heck is Georgie Porgie and why is he eating both pudding and pie? And how does one acquire a tisket or a tasket? What I'm saying is nursery rhymes are old, outdated, and they make no freaking sense – Mmhmm, so today the three of us are gonna update some stuffy old nursery rhymes by turning 'em into rap tracks It's time for ♪ Rap-A-Bye Baby on the Hip Hop ♪ (goat bleats) – All right, here's how this is going to work We got a board over here that Chase is manning We have several different nursery rhymes and then several different rap styles

I see Migos, I see Snoop Dogg, I see– – Who's Post Malone? – Got him – I see Kanye West, I see the Sugarhill Gang, and I see the Beastie Boys So we pick a nursery rhyme, we pick a rap style, and then we make it happen – Mmhmm, and then we're gonna head over to the crib and perform our rhymes – Got him, let's rock

– Individually All right, Rhett, you're taller so you are going first – Oh, thanks (laughter) It's always helpful – Pick your nursery rhyme, man

– I've always been a fan of I'm a Little Teapot Because it's ironic when a big man sings I'm a Little Teapot – That's nice – Okay, and then what style are you gonna perform this in? – I think I gotta go with the D-O-double-G, man Snoop Dogg, I think I can do that

– He's a tall guy – I think I can handle that – [Post Malone] Look at the swagger (laughter) Immaculate – Hit it

(rap beat) ♪ I'm just a teapot-tizzle ♪ ♪ Fulla t-zizzle, y'all ♪ ♪ I'm a little teapot, short and stout ♪ ♪ Here is my handle, here is my spout ♪ ♪ When I get all steamed up, hear me shout ♪ ♪ Just tip me over and pour me out ♪ ♪ La-Da-Da-Da-Da ♪ ♪ I'm a mother-freakin' teapot fulla tea ♪ ♪ La-Da-Da-Da-Da ♪ ♪ Gonna pour some tea outta me ♪ – Wow Incredible (laughter and applause) Incredible – Oh, that's pretty good, man, dang – I'm going on tour later this year– – Can I come? – You wanna open? – Yeah! (laughter) – Okay, I'm gonna choose Hickory Dickory Dock, 'cause why not? – Right, does it really matter? – And I'm gonna perform it in the style of Yeezy

I just got the hours All right, I'm ready (rap beat) ♪ Uh, uh ♪ ♪ Hickory dickory dock ♪ ♪ The mouse ran up the clock ♪ ♪ The clock struck one ♪ ♪ And down he come ♪ ♪ Hickory dickory dock ♪ ♪ The mouse ran up the clock ♪ ♪ The clock struck two ♪ ♪ And look what he do ♪ ♪ Hickory dickory dock ♪ I'mma let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the greatest clocks of all time (mic drop) (applause) – You just about got your baby – Wow, that was

– Hit the baby (thump) – right in the head with it – Very intense I think Kanye would be proud – I think it was nice – Yeah, yeah, he's, you know, sometimes he goes after it

– Well, all the time – So I had to bring it – Who's your producer? – Mark (laughter) – He's talented – He's sitting right over there

– He's a talented guy – The tracks are pretty great – Yeah, the tracks are great – All right, you're up – Your turn

– [Link] What song are you gonna pick? – Itsy Bitsy Spider has always been a song that's been very close to my heart (laughter) – Yeah You like spiders? – Yeah, I hate spiders – Small ones? – But the reason why, yeah, exactly, that's why I picked it, because they're small spiders – Right

– Got it, right, uh-huh – I'll do it in the style of the classic Sugarhill Gang We'll go old-school – Taking it way back – Yeah, let's rock

– All right – I'm ready to rock – Do it Okay, yeah – Get hydrated

– Get hydrated – It's important – Gotta hydrate (laughter) Hello, baby (rap beat) ♪ Ooh, I said a hip, hop ♪ ♪ The itsy, the bitsy spider went down the water spit spout ♪ ♪ And down-a came all the rain and the washin' the spider ♪ ♪ The washin', wish-a-washin' away, ooh ♪ ♪ The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout ♪ ♪ Down came the rain and washed the spider out ♪ ♪ Up came the sun and dried up all the rain ♪ ♪ And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again ♪ ♪ Hey, ho ♪ ♪ Hey, ho ♪ ♪ Ooh, hey, ho, ooh ♪ That's it

(laughter and applause) – Wow, everything old is new again – Wow, bringing back that old school flow – It's a tough flow to master (laughter) – That was great! – Nice, nice – Okay, now you have to go again

– Yes I do Oh man, what am I gonna do to follow that up? Let's go Mary Had a Little Lamb – Did she? – Yeah, she did Always been fond of that And I don't know how I feel about this

I'm going out on a limb, something that struck me I'm gonna do it in Post Malone style – That's nice Hey, that's pretty easy – Are you gonna be offended? – No sir, no

– Are you sure you don't wanna let him do his own style later? – Is that an option? – I don't wanna let you do it (laughter) Okay – It's a easier style – It's not like he's not right here No pressure

– Oh gosh All right, hit it (rap beat) Okay ♪ Mary had a little lamb ♪ ♪ Its fleece was white as snow ♪ ♪ And everywhere that Mary went ♪ ♪ The lamb was sure to go ♪ ♪ It followed her to school one day ♪ ♪ Which was against the rules ♪ ♪ Made the children laugh and play ♪ ♪ To see a lamb in school ♪ ♪ 'Til the teacher turned it out ♪ ♪ But it still lingered near ♪ ♪ Waited patiently about ♪ ♪ 'Til Mary did appear ♪ ♪ Why does the lamb love Mary so ♪ ♪ The eager children cry ♪ ♪ But Mary loves the lamb you know ♪ ♪ The teacher did reply ♪ Yo, that lamb was saucin' (laughter and applause) – Very, very good

– Hey – That's pretty good – Not that these are being judged, but – I'm upset that I didn't write it (laughter) – Oh my gosh

Hey Kudos to you, man – Yeah, it was very good – Yeah man – He was right there

– That was, I'm sweating – Okay, what– – Pits are sweating – Whatever I don't pick you have to do – Okay – So is there, I mean, do you want to whisper something in my ear, or what, whatcha? (whispering) (laughter) Okay, okay

Okay You like farm animals? I get it (laughter) Okay, I'm gonna choose Hush Little Baby Beastie Boys – Ooh

– Hey, that's nice – Ironic, 'cause the Beastie Boys are kind of loud (laughter) (indistinct falsetto) – It sounds real, it sounds authentic (rap beat) ♪ Hush little baby ♪ ♪ Don't say a word ♪ ♪ Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird ♪ ♪ And if that mockingbird don't sing ♪ ♪ Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring ♪ ♪ Is that what you want ♪ ♪ Whatcha whatcha whatcha want ♪ ♪ Is that what you want ♪ ♪ Whatcha whatcha whatcha want ♪ ♪ If that diamond ring turns brass ♪ ♪ Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass ♪ ♪ And if that looking glass gets broke ♪ ♪ Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat ♪ ♪ If that cart and bull turn over ♪ ♪ Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover ♪ – Wow

(applause) – Are you okay? – I think my voice has changed now (laughter) – I love how you took on– – That was pretty incredible – Two personas – All right, I left the farm for ya – Yeah, I guess my options are Old McDonald Had a Farm and in the style of Migos

I think this is a hit already – Yeah, it's destiny – Which we met Quavo – Did you? – And we got a picture with him and he never spoke, he just raised his arm, pointed it towards the camera, we took a picture, and then that was it – He's a good guy

He's not a man of many words – No, he wasn't – I love Quavo, he's a good guy – All right Have at it

– I guess I'm ready to rock Quavo, I hope I do you justice Offset, Takeoff, hope I do you justice Hello my little baby boy I'm sorry Link woke you up, I'm gonna put you right back to bed, don't you worry

(rap beat) Ooh Yeah ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ Ooh, and on this farm he had a cow ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ With a moo moo here and a moo moo there ♪ ♪ Here a moo, there a moo ♪ ♪ Everywhere a moo moo moo ♪ ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ Ooh, Old McDonald had a farm ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ And on his farm he had a pig ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ With a oink oink here and a oink oink there ♪ ♪ There a oink, there, and everywhere oi-oink ♪ ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O, ooh ♪ Shoutout to Murda on the beat, you can cut it now You already know Got it

(applause and laughter) – Oink oink – Also a tough flow to master – Yes, well you did just that – That was pretty great – Man, thank you so much

– Oh man There are no winners and losers here because we're all winners – We're all a team – Yeah – We are kind of like the Migos

– We created some hits – I often think of us that way – Slappers – Like the us version of the Migos – That's nice

I like it, ever since five minutes ago – That's right – Exactly All right, click on through as we find a way to stuff a Slim Jim inside a churro, because why not? Money can't buy happiness unless smelling good makes you happy Buy our grooming collection items, like my beard oil, at mythical

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