Name Brand vs. Generic Cereal Taste Test

– Can generic cereals fool us? – Let's talk about that (upbeat theme music) – Good Mythical Morning

– Good morning (epic orchestral music) In less than three minutes, we will fill our brave bowls and embark on a task that is the greatest challenge in the culinary history of breakfast cereal Breakfast cereal, that term should have new meaning for us today We can't be consumed by our petty cereal preferences anymore We will be united in our common interest, in cereal, and our ability to tell the best from the rest

Should we win the day, the 10th of December will no longer be known as Dewey Decimal System Day, but as the day when we declared in one voice we will not confuse name-brand with generic, we will not vanish without a bite, we're going to taste all, we're going to thrive, today, we celebrate Cereal Taste Test Day (crew applauds and cheers) – Okay It's time for, Frosted Flakes or Frosted Fakes, Froot Loops or Froot Dupes, Cheerios or Cheeri-nos, You Get the Point, Let's Eat Some Cereal! – Alright, here's how this is gonna work We're gonna get two bowls of cereal, and we're gonna taste from each of these bowls and determine which has the name brand and which is the filthy, evil doppelgangle decepticon – I know what you mean

– I tried to say doppelganger – We will make our guesses by putting our hand over the one that we think is the name brand, the real deal Whoever gets the most right becomes Cereal Brian – Let's taste (booming electronic music) – Round one

– [Stevie] Okay guys, first up we have General Mills Cocoa Puffs at 25 cents per ounce, or/and Target's generic Choco Spots, which cost 17 cents per ounce – That's a reach – Or/and Choco Spots – [Stevie] You have both, but you need to pick which one is the name brand – I wasn't allowed to eat chocolate cereal growing up

My momma drew the line there We could have all the processed meat we wanted – Now I'll tell you just by looking at these, they look the same – Mine is making more of a chocolatey milk thing happen I think, this looks browner

– Well I'll tell you, that's a good chocolate cereal Let's see how this hold up Are these balls a little smaller? – Are they spots and not puffs? Will the world ever know? Yeah, you already know – I usually don't eat this kind of cereal, because a lot of it goes to the roof of my mouth and abrases it I don't like that

– Abrases is not good – Now, I will say that one of these – Is better – Is better One of these has a much less chocolately chocolateness to it The chocolate levels are, I would say, 40% lower on one versus the other

– This could've been a part of my childhood, mom – I'm not gonna say which, because I'm not going, I don't wanna, – I would've behaved more – Hint – I would been a good son if you had given me this – At least you admit you weren't a good son

– [Stevie] Okay, you're gonna put your hand, – You're eating more of that one, huh? – [Stevie] Over the name-brand cereal in three, two, one – So much more chocolately, right? – This one's better, Target got a good game going on, so they may fool us, they may be better – [Stevie] You are both correct (bell dings) – Yeah, it's the chocolateyness, everything else is the same – Look how chocolately the milk is

Choco Spots – I mean Target got a good-looking box, it's not like a sad box either (booming electronic music) – Round two – [Stevie] One of these is Kellogg's Froot Loops, which retails for 29 cents per ounce, and the other is Kroger Fruit Rings, which sells for about 14 cents per ounce, so which is which? – Fruit Rings, now one of these is almost twice, no, no, it's like a third taller – But not all of 'em, do you see that? The machine that they're using at one of the places is inconsistent, it makes big loops sometimes and regular loops other times

Now I was allowed to eat these, 'cause they weren't chocolate They were the color of the rainbow, and that can't hurt ya – This was one of my go-tos as a child, like at grandparents scenarios, you know, not at my own home – Just grandparent scenarios? Is that like something that you get on an SAT test? Grandparent scenarios, there's somebody at the Sat headquarters, I gotta come up with more grandparent scenarios – Yeah, and that particular question, every answer's correct, just like at Gramma's house

– These melt in your mouth, but not in a good way – These are a lot, I would say, crunchier I would say more sugar forward, these are more fruit-flavored forward – They feel like an echo of those I don't know if that gives you any hints

– [Stevie] Hand over the name brand in three, two, one – Yeah, it's gotta be this one – [Stevie] You're both correct again (bell dings) – Yeah, yeah – But here's the thing

– This is too easy so far – You might actually find yourself preferring the, oh gosh, – they come in a bag, I knew it – It's like something you feed a dog with – Yeah, I refuse to eat cereal out of a bag (booming electronic music) – Round three

– [Stevie] One of these is Kellogg's Frosted Flakes, which sells for 30 cents per ounce, and because apparently their brand name is too generic and they weren't able to obtain a protected copyright, the other is Ralph's generic brand Kroger Frosted Flakes, which sells for 13 cents per ounce – So if you put the word generic in front of Frosted Flakes, it's okay – It probably doesn't say that on the box, though – Now, I already know just by smell – Yeah, I think you touched your nose to one of them

Just so you know – I'm fine with that At Nana and Papa's house, they would always get generic Frosted Flakes – Oh, so you've had both – It's still in the cupboard

– And you love regular Frosted flakes Because back when we used to get the variety packs in college, you hogged all the frosted Whether it was mini wheats or flakes You left me with plain Cheerios – I don't know if you noticed, but I'm not apologizing – I mean if I ate that alone, I would just think I'd eaten Frosted Flakes, that's all I got to say

– One of them is more sweet by, I'd say a 20% sweeter – Just say it – 20% sweeter – They're both good Ready

– Three, two, one – You trying to chop me on the head? I was trying to fake you out – [Stevie] You are both incorrect – Oh really? (buzzer buzzes) – Nuh uh – Dude, this was difficult

– Nuh uh – This was difficult, these are good – Nuh uh There's no freaking way (booming electronic music) – Round four

– [Stevie] In front of you, you have Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats, which sells for about 15 cents per ounce, and Malt-O-Meal Mini Spooners, – Yum – which retails for about 13 cents per ounce – Mini Spooners – I can't tell the freaking difference I mean this one's a little wider, or in this case taller than this one But these are made in the same factory

– No, they're not I notice a distinct difference in the machine that makes them – These are a little more compact, I mean just a little bit I'm doing it dry And you can learn a lot that way

Now of course, this is my jam, this is my favorite cereal of all time There were decades of my life where every morning all I would eat were these – I'm really confused, man, 'cause I thought I knew – I am astounded by how similar they are in texture and in taste, but there's something, there's a little genetic marker in there that I'm picking up on that I hope you can't get I'm ready to vote

– [Stevie] Okay, three, two, one – This one – Yeah, and I'm going not by taste, but by the machine and the way it makes 'em – So you're almost just guessing – No, no

– Why do you, you think that's a generic machine? – No, they're square, they don't come down to a nice pillow shape, see that pillow shape versus a square on the end I think they get the pillow shape right at the real place – There's a little bit of magic in the taste of this one – [Stevie] You are both correct (bell dings) – Yeah, that's right – But hey, I gotta give it to Malt-O-Meal

– Come up with a better name – There's a lot of generic Frosted Mini Wheats out there that I've tried, and they're horrible – Mini Spooners sounds like a conference you would go to at the LA Convention Center (booming electronic music) – Round five – [Stevie] Okay, this round we have Kellogg's Raisin Bran, which retails for, – Quit touching the cereal! – No, I have to touch the cereal

– [Stevie] 15 cents per ounce – That's why you have a spoon – [Stevie] And another Malt-O-Meal, Raisin Bran, which sells for 12 cents per ounce – See, now we know that Malt-O-Meal brings the heat when it comes to impostors – Yeah, but we also know that their machines are not perfect

Malt-O-Meal has imperfect machines, I've always known it – They save money on their tooling – Now, we could have Raisin Bran at my house The McLaughlins, if bran was in there, you could go crazy My dad needed fiber

I should get back into raisin bran I think that every time I eat it – It's a good cereal, man – I should get back into it, you know I'm 41, I deserve it

– I'm trying to find a raisin, I can't find a raisin in here – [Rhett] That'll tell you something, won't it? – There's a raisin Uh – I need no more taste, Malt-O-Meal – [Stevie] Three, two, one

– That one over there, – Fault-O-Meal – Yeah, you're exactly right That is not a good cereal – [Stevie] You guys are too good at this, you're right (bell dings) – This is a great cereal

Malt-O-Meal, sorry – That's what you deserve, you deserve to be sprinkled on the ground (booming electronic music) – Round six – As you can see, we can't – Yes, we have determined that we're too good at this, guys

We need to be blindfolded to remove our ability to spot the machine differences in the ma-cereal – So what's here, Stevie? – [Stevie] Gentlemen, for this final round, you have General Mills Lucky Charms, which sells for 19 cents per ounce, and your favorite, Malt-O-Meal Marshmallow Mateys, – Mateys? – Which goes for 15 cents per ounce – [Rhett] That doesn't feel like a bowl, there it is, okay – I never really ate Lucky Charms, because I don't really like the charms – You're not Irish

– Not a big marshmallow in my cereal fan That's not a bad cereal, woo, it's sweet – [Rhett] I hit the bowl the first try – What's happening? – Well, I'm just trying to go about my business – Are you spooning my spoon? – Hmm, hmm, wow, wow

– These taste very different to me What are you wowing, what does that mean? – I'm just coming to conclusions, preparing for my role as Cereal Brian – We may tie – Missed that time – We may tie, but you're not gonna beat me, I'm ready

– [Rhett] Hold on – It's interesting I mean, one's definitely sweeter than the other one The other one's kind of more oatey Listen, Rhett's gonna keep eating forever unless we say we're gonna vote

– [Stevie] Okay, here we go Three, two, one – Wa-sham – Is that your hand? – So you guys are agreeing, and you are both correct (bell dings) (guys cheer) – We're good! – We cannot be fooled! – And we're both Cereal Brian, you take that

– Hey, but I gotta tell you right now, Marshmallow Mateys, a big ol' bag, they're actually pretty good, they're not bad Oh, we're gonna split, so I'm actually, – You'll be Cereal, and I'll be Brian – I don't know how that makes me feel – With our combined powers, we are Cereal Brian! – Cereal Brian! Also, the best one, the one that fooled us, Frosted Flakes, so if you're buying regular Frosted Flakes, you should go to Ralph's and get the generic ones, they're good – Thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing

– You know what time it is – Hi, I'm Hazel from Brisbane, Australia, and I'm enjoying skittles ceral for breakfast It's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality – And one of my parents is a filmmaker Click the top link to watch us taste the internet's strangest cereal combos in Good Mythical More

– And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land Move at the speed of conversation with us Subscribe to Ear Biscuits wherever you listen to podcasts

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