Holiday Rants w/ Helium Balloons | The Big Blow Up

Welcome back Okay, I feel like I dug myself a big hole in the previous segment

Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself? I just wanna apologize for anybody who's gone to a community college or currently at a community college I also wanna take the time to apologize to anybody who loves cats and cats themselves, because I know I've made a lot of enemies there So, I– you know, no hard feelings against anybody from community college or cats – But you are– – Sorry I'm very sorry

Okay He said it All right, the holidays are coming up and there's a lot of pressure to have a fa-la-la-labulous attitude about it That's right, but the holidays can also be very, very stressful Sometimes you just need to get your rage out, and that's what we're about to do

But we're gonna do it in a little twist of a way with some helium filled lungs It's time for Okay, there's only one rule here

You can only rage as long as the helium lasts Let the seasonal complaining commence ( high-pitched ) I hate when people unwrap their presents slowly so they can keep the paper It's taking you forever No one wants to be re-gifted your crappy reused wrapping paper

It's wrinkly! We know what you did! ( high-pitched ) I hate people who pretend to like eggnog It's just alcoholic mayonnaise with a hint of cinnamon! Bah! I hate Starbucks gift cards I've never left with exactly enough, so I'm going back to Starbucks one last time and spending 550 out of pocket just so I don't feel like I'm losing the 19 cents that's still on my gift card! I hate spelling Hanukkah Is there a C, two N's, two K's? Don't tell me t here's three K's, 'cause that's gotta be wrong! I hate that every year pop artists cover the same five Christmas songs over and over again

You step into Macy's, you hear "Let It Snow" eight times before you hit home goods We have enough versions Write some new freaking Christmas songs! I hate last-minute shoppers Every year you've gotta tell yourself– oh, I'm so– I'm so light-headed I– I sucked way too much helium, guys

Okay, here we go ( normal voice ) You gotta load up again, brother I hate last-minute shoppers Every year you tell yourself you're gonna buy presents earlier, and yet you're at Target at 5:30 pm on December 24th making me stand in line to buy a roll of toilet paper! I need TP We've been eating nonstop ham! ( high-pitched ) I hate people who wear ironic Christmas sweaters

What else did you pick up while you were at Urban Outfitters, an original personality perhaps? Wake up, sheeple! I hate Christmas carolers Back away from my house! If I wanted people wearing too many layers singing loudly outside my door about times long past, I'd finally pony up for Hamilton tickets I hate the motorized wicker reindeer that people put in their front yard this time of year I've nearly wrecked a dozen times because I was certain that demon-possessed reindeer skeleton was lightly grazing Speaking of reindeer, I hate that one reindeer named Cupid

Wrong holiday, dude! And what about that one called Vixen? What the crap happened there? What, do you think you're sexy, Vixen? I don't think so Reindeers aren't sexy They just gallivant around, and they're pettable, and prancy, prancy– okay, they are sexy I hate cats that go to community college ( normal voice ) Happy holidays, mythical beasts

Click through to watch us have a zombie cuddle puddle with musical guest Langhorne Slim Rhett: Card your friends Gift card them, that is Get your loved ones a Mythical Store gift card available at mythicalstore

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