Craziest Things Ever Stolen (CAUGHT ON CAMERA)

– Crime doesn't pay – Except when it does

– Let's talk about that (alarm rings) (playful theme music) (fire blasts) – Good Mythical Morning! – Today's episode is all about stealing and if there's one person who knows a thing or two about that, it's the lady who always steals the show Please welcome one of the stars of Good Girls on NBC, Retta Woo woo! – Yay! (crew applauding) – Now Retta, I have been very excited about having you on the show because, you know, Retta – Yes, right

I get it – Rhett, Retta – Rhett, Retta, Rhett, Retta, copy – Yeah (laughs) – Is that what you were hoping for, what just happened? – Yes

More can happen later but right now it's just Rhett– – [Rhett And Retta] And Retta – Rhett and Retta – Rhett and Retta – Now in Good Girls, Retta plays a suburban mom who pulls off a supermarket heist, but there are people out there who have heisted things much weirder than a grocery store and we're about to play a game about them – It's time for Can Link and Retta Guess These Stolen Things Equivalent Cheddah? That'll all make sense

– The equivalent cheddah– (Retta laughs) Of the things, okay I got it – Basically what I'm gonna be doing is I'm going to be telling you about a very weird thing that was stolen and then using your white boards, you are going to be guessing the value of said stolen thing Whoever comes closest gets a point It's not whoever comes closest without going over, it's just whoever comes closest, okay? – Mhm, okay

– And in the end, the winner with the most right gets to have whatever is in the mystery box or a dollar – How good are you at prices? – Not very, but– – Great, me neither – I am very competitive so I'm really gonna put my heart into it – All right – Well that makes one of us

– Retta, I'm pulling for you – Thanks – Well I'm pulling for me – All right, here's the first one We're not in Kansas anymore, we're at a museum in Minnesota where the iconic red ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz were stolen 13 years ago but thanks to an FBI sting operation, the shoes were finally recovered and brought back to their rightful home

According to a 2005 insurance policy, how much were these shoes worth? – Oh man – The original– – 13 years ago, not today – 13 years ago, yes You know about the time value of money – You know what I'm saying

(Rhett chuckles) – Okay – Okay, you guys ready? – Mhm – Retta, why don't you reveal your answer? – I said $350,000 – Good gosh – Okay

– That's a lot of money for some slippers They're not real rubies! – No but they're– – They're just ruby-colored – From The Wizard of Oz – I know where they're from! (Retta laughs) I'm saying $72,100 – The correct answer is $1 million! – I was gonna say, I was gonna say a million

– Yes, $350,000's a lot closer to one million – (chuckling) One for me! – Sadly the shoes made out of Toto are only $3999 (Link and Retta chuckle) – Well shoot, man – Ha ha, all right! You've heard of Shark Week but have you heard of shark swipe? In July of this year, the San Antonio Aquarium, one of my favorite places, 38 year old Anton Shannon stole a small gray horn shark named Miss Helen

Police said Anton snatched Miss Helen from her tank, wrapped her in a blanket, and pushed her out of the aquarium in a baby carriage He was caught and is facing felony charges How much is Miss Helen worth? – Anton, what's Anton gonna, release it into the wild? What was the motive? – They believe that he was taking it for his own aquarium at home – He's got a big enough tank? – Yep, I guess so – Got a big enough baby carriage

(chuckling) – Huh, San Antonio – [Link] I have no point of reference – (laughs) I like the way you think San Antonio, I'm gonna move– – I don't know the worth of a shark in San Antonio (Rhett and Link laugh) – I'm moving it down just a little bit

All right Link, why don't you go first on this one? – $140,000 (Rhett laughs) It's a little shark It's not even full-grown, right? – He's got diamonds stuck in his gills – Oh this is big? – Well, let's see, Retta? – $22,000 – Okay

– A shark is, I mean, a zoo shark is– – Oh a zoo shark – A zoo shark – Oh I should have specified zoo shark – It's a famous shark – The answer is $3,000

Miss Helen is not that expensive, but we actually do have security camera video from the heist See, it was– – [Retta] Oh my God, it was like the cheapest– – [Rhett] It's like the children's aquarium Look – [Link] Oh my gosh Look at that jerk

– Miss Helen, she's a little shark She's a $3,000 shark – You know what, Helen, to me, you're a $140,000 shark I suck at this – Yeah that was actually the only shark in the San Antonio Aquarium

Now it's just a frosty machine and two goldfish San Antonio, a Texas man, we're still in Texas, was sentenced to 50 years in prison after he got caught stealing mass quantities of fajitas Gilberto Escamilla worked at a juvenile detention center and over the course of nine years, continually placed orders for fajitas– – Stop it – Using county funds and then sold them for his own profit He had a fajita business

How many dollars worth of fajitas did he steal to earn 50 years in the slammer? – (gasps) 50 years? – 50 years – Oh gosh – Yes – That's a lot of fajitas (Rhett chuckles) – You haven't put an answer and I was gonna copy it

(Retta laughs) – I don't know, 50 years – 50 years worth of fajitas – And nine years of doing this – I'm stressed about this one This was very unsettling

– Yeah, right – The 50 years is really messing with me – Okay, are we ready? – Okay – You're competing against me, I wouldn't get too stressed (laughs) – Okay, Retta, let's see your answer

– I mean, it should be no less than this amount for 50 years – You're being conservative? – $220,000 – Oh you know what, I'm close, I said $300,000 And I did some math here which has nothing to do with this (Retta chuckles) I thought I was gonna do math and I was like, screw it

– 52 weeks, where's the number coming from? (Retta chuckles) – I don't even wanna talk about it – Well Link you know what, you're right because– – Yes! – It's $12 million worth of fajitas – Fajitas? – We were both off on that one – See I'm just picturing like he stole like three a day

It was more than that – I think this was like bulk quantity – Okay – I did three a week and then I was– – There you go, that's where the math comes in And he actually has to do five years extra for guac

– (chuckles) It's always, guac is always extra – Taking shots of cheap vodka is bad, but taking bottles of expensive vodka, that's worst Russian car company Russo-Baltique created a vodka that was stored in a bottle made out of 66 pounds of gold as well as bullet-proof glass that is 30 centimeters thick, and has a diamond-encrusted cap Here's the photo of the bottle of vodka

– [Link] That is quite a bottle – [Retta] Okay – Now this was stolen from the storage room of a Copenhagen bar where it was being held How much was it worth? – This looks like one of my four bed posts at home (chuckles) If you were to visit my bedroom you'd see– – Your gold post– – Four of these, yes

– Gold and bullet– – So it was protected with bullet-proof glass, but it's basically 66 pounds of gold and then the diamond-encrusted cap – Oh, diamonds – Mhm, so we're talking 66 pounds of gold

That's a lot of gold in this vodka – Oh (Rhett and Retta chuckle) That's the most important part No idea – Okay, Link, let's see yours first

– I got this $14 million – Stop it – Okay, Retta? – This isn't that much to me, $48,000

– (chuckles) We're frequently on different wavelengths, you and I – Well Link, you're on the right one right now, buddy, 'cause it's $13 million! – What? – Yes! Don't call it a comeback I've been here for years! – Okay and we actually have security camera footage of this guy stealing this This is the storage room, he's searching around for it

And he spotted it – Oh there it is – [Retta] Is this in bullet-proof, okay, it's in bullet-proof glass, but they didn't lock it? – [Link] Yeah (chuckles) – That part's confusing to me because I think it was in bullet-proof glass at some point but then when it got bought by this bar, they just put it with all their other vodka They deserved it! – Yeah, I love how the moment he spotted it, he got a pep in his step

– He violated the cardinal rule of stealing things Don't act like you're stealing things Just walk out like– – Casually – You meant to be there – Like you're taking a shark from San Antonio

– First of all, those chairs look like the chairs of my first apartment I don't know how they could even afford that bottle in that place – Right, but you gotta allocate your budget somehow – That's right, okay, you guys are tied Here we go, way back in March of 1990, El Pollo Loco celebrated the opening of a new franchise in Sherman Oaks– – In the Shoaks! – Former home of Good Mythical Morning and me

– Me too – Hold on, you guys both lived in the Oaks? – I live in the Shoaks currently – Oh – I used to get your mail all the time – Is that right? – Yeah

(chuckles) They installed a 20 foot inflatable rubber chicken in front of the restaurant Two weeks later, the rubber chicken was stolen Manager, Joe Masiello, came up with a brilliant plan to get the chicken back He offered chicken combo meals as a reward How many chicken combo meals were offered as a reward for this giant inflatable chicken? – You doing math again? (Rhett and Retta laugh) – I'm sketching you for my portfolio (chuckles)

– Okay, Link, you got an answer? – Yeah man – Okay what is it? – $780 – Okay – Wait – So you're supposed to, I was asking for how many chicken combos? – I just put it in terms of money, my brother

– Okay, well I'm not accepting that answer I'm only accepting the number of chicken combos – You wanna go back to– – 156 I mean I'm showing my work, that's right here 156 combos

– Okay and Retta? – That is three a week for a year – I said 365, one a day Because I won a Comedy Central stand-up competition and Taco Bell gave me a meal One of the prizes was a meal, Taco Bell for a year, but it was just 365 coupons – You ate at Taco Bell every day for a year? – I was broke

(Rhett and Link laugh) – You earned it – El Pollo Loco is apparently a lot cheaper than Taco Bell because all he offered was 12 chicken combos It was 12! – Are you serious? – Just 12 chicken combos! – So you won – But I got the point I'm not proud of how I earned it

(laughing) But I did get the point Did he get the chicken back though? – No, it never was returned – Of course – 'Cause it was cheap – I do remember my neighbor having a 20 foot tall El Pollo Loco chicken in his front yard for weeks

I guess I could have said something I just thought he was a fan – Just drive around the neighborhood, manager – Okay you know what, we're gonna make this one worth two points – Oh boy

– We're shaking it up! We cannot have a tie – I'm fine with that – 'Cause it's the last one – Back in 1994, 34 year old Keith Bradford pulled out all the stops when he stole a condom machine off the wall in the bathroom of a pub Unfortunately, Keith didn't do too good of a job protecting himself because numerous witnesses saw him walking away with the machine

Police followed him home and recovered the stolen goods How much was the machine and its contents worth? – In terms of chicken combo meals or? – I don't believe there are any chicken combo meals There was money in there for people who'd already purchased condoms There were condoms in there and there was the machine – All of that, okay

– Add all that up How much did it cost? – These are like Trojan, or are we talking like Durex? (crew laughing) (Retta chuckles) – I don't have access to that information (Retta laughs) – Oh God (chuckles) – Just because they're flavored doesn't mean they're edible Just a note

– Copy that I leaned that the hard way (Rhett laughs) – Okay – Okay, Retta let's see your answer – $13,650

– Whoa – It's a lot – That's a lot of prophylactic – Condoms are very important – (laughs) Link? – Play it safe, kids

$560 – Oh! Okay, so here's what was in the machine 127 quarters totaling $3175 48 condoms, totalling $24

Probably Durex And the machine which is $279– – That's it? – For a total of $33475 Link! You won! – Yes! – What? – But you were a formidable foe Gimme that mystery box! – Oh gosh, what's in the mystery box? – Retta, I would love for you to have the dollar

– Oh thanks – Because, oh yeah – I can get me a condom – (laughs) Well you can get half a condom That doesn't work quite the same

– I'm sorry to do this right in your face, but I got a box to open (Retta laughs) – That's hilarious – That is fajitas (chuckles) Congratulations, Link Look for Retta in season two of Good Girls on NBC very soon

– That's not 50 years worth, but – And thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing You say you know what time it is – You know what time it is – I'm Sam

– I'm Angie – And this is Josie who was born just a minute ago – [Both] And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality – I'm glad it's not, and right now the baby's being born – (laughs) Next time, somebody's gonna outdo them

Click the top link to watch us play Rhett or Retta in Good Mythical More – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land Lip balms, pomade, beard oil and cologne, oh my! Lip balms, pomade, beard oil and cologne, oh my! Lip balms, pomade, beard oil (chuckles) and cologne, oh my! Available now at Mythicalstore

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