Bull Testicle Breakfast Burrito Taste Test | FOOD FEARS

(Jordan grunts) – Ah, no (upbeat music) – Welcome to Food Fears where I make something you hate taste great

Today's guest once twerked so hard he threw his back out, Jordan Morris – Hi – [Josh] Hi welcome, how's the back? – Well, the fact isn't true, that's not true – Oh – But I wanna go with this

So my back is great and I'll be twerkin' at Bonnaroo in no time – And really– – Is that where someone twerks? – I think so, people who look like us tend to only get laughed out when we twerk so that was really confusing I can't even start to twerk so hard that it hurts anything except my pride which is already so just down in the toilet – Aw, come on, you have lots of great talents – That's all I ever wanted to hear you say to me, Dad

(both chuckle) – No problem, son, wow You've gotten psychological like immediately – It always has, Food Fears, there's a lot of kind of Oedipal things going on – Sure – And you don't have a ton of experience eating gross foods as it is, right, you're a little bit virginal in this regard

– Yeah, I definitely, you know, have a delicate tummy – Okay, that's a terrible start – I have a delicate tummy and I'm a coward so– – Oh my God – Those things mainly keep it so that I'm only eating at Chili's – Well that's fair

You have a lot of balls just to show up today on this show – Thank you – And that's very convenient because we will be eating balls – Ho, wow – We are eating, that is a whole bull's testicle

– When you said balls, when you said you have a lot of balls, I'm like I bet we're gonna eat balls – I saw the fear – And now, there's a ball That's one ball – That's just a single ball

I saw the glint of fear in your eye and I was like wow, this man is a coward – Ooh – Today's going to be rough Yeah so before I can make you a dish that I am convinced will make you fall in love with the whole testicle– – Wait what animal's ball is this? – Does it matter? Are you kosher? – (chuckles) I guess not, I guess I'm just curious now – It's a bull's testicle

– Okay a bull – [Josh] It is a beef ball so– – At least it's a mighty animal That we're consuming – A noble bull's testicle – Wow

– Yeah and you will attain all its vitality, of course, through consuming it – Oh good – That is how it works so if you're worried about that – I wasn't but– – Oh – That's good to know

– So we need to taste this in its most pure form This has simply been boiled and chilled down As a gesture of humility, I throw myself before you and I will eat the testicle with you and I need to get your genuine response to how you feel about this so I can know– – I will not sugar-coat it – Make you fall in love with it Please don't sugar-coat it

– [Jordan] Actually could you sugar-coat this? Literally it might make it taste better – It's just testicle brulee, I just blow-torch the sugar – (chuckles) Yeah, a testicle churro – [Josh] So we can just split that apart – Oof

– Placed like that, and then as is customary on this show– – [Jordan] Why does it have a vein of something in it, ugh – [Josh] I don't know but it's incredible rude to ask – Oh you're right – [Josh] So as is customary, we touch our tips and we tip it and dip it, cheers – Tip, ugh

I would love some dip for this (grunts) Ah, no Okay, I got like my teeth– – I saw that – Into it – Get the smell in it

(gags, grunts) Wait but you do or you don't like it? – It's okay, not my fave but maybe a little hot sauce might help, a little Tapatio That really livens anything up I got a little bit, I don't wanna eat more but also I don't wanna look as cowardly as I am – Just shut it out of your mind that it's a testicle It's just right next to the shaft, it's just, just really focus on the flavor

– Mm, well that's bad too, the flavor is bad and also the thing is bad Can I be done eating it? – Yeah you can be done – Thank you – As long as– – It was really bad – What exactly about the flavor, is it the texture, is it the actual flavor itself? What are you experiencing so I can know– – It just seems like it's gone bad

– Oh, okay – I think you served me not the freshest ball you have – Oh it's the freshest ball I had in my freezer for the last three years so it's a pretty good product – So yeah I mean maybe– – A little spices can disguise up the flavor a little bit – Sure maybe a newer ball

– (laughs) I'll go grab one from my new ball guy down the road – Would you please, yeah, I want a farm to table ball I wanna make sure this ball was swingin' in a pasture, not an hour ago – We'll come back in an hour I'm going to have a fresh ball and a fresh, delicious full testicle dish that I know is gonna make you fall in love with the humble testicle

(Jordan laughs) (funky electronic music) I get really excited when I think about testicles or cooking with any animal gonads really The first step is to remove the skin so you just run a knife right around it I find testicles easier to work with when they're frozen You've heard of fall off the bone ribs, these are fall off the skin testicles Just gotta, just rip it

You can kinda dig your nails under the skin and just one clean motion on three, one, two It's easier to go on two Beef testicles have this pure flavor to them and a lot of usable meat I'm going to be preparing the testicles almost exactly how you would prepare bacon And so you're just gonna get this into your three to one mixture of sugar to salt and then you're gonna let that go for 12 hours in the fridge and it's gonna leach all that testicle juice right out of there

And then smoking it with applewood It's gettin' a little bit of applewood kiss on it Beautiful so it's really just kinda perfume 'em And so this is just gonna hang out for about 10 minutes and then we should be good to go to hit the frying pan Ugh

(coughs) And finally griddling it 'til it's crispy and put just a little bit of maple and black pepper on there to really sell the bacon flavor That's beautiful, you can see the caramelization taking place Food Fears! For the chorizo I'll be rough chopping the testicles and then adding that to the food processor with onion and beef tallow which is gonna add a lot more fat because testicles are pretty lean And I got ancho powder and a little bit of New Mexico chili powder, a little bit of chipotle powder and salt And you're just gonna let it run, grind those testicles up

That's great, you really wanna make it just like a testicle slurry, a testicle goo if you will And then I'm taking that chorizo and I'm searing it in a hot skillet until all the moisture's evaporated because testicles are very wet and then after the moisture's gone, add the eggs, scramble 'em up and that's a very classic breakfast burrito filling All good breakfast burritos have potatoes For what I like to call a ground testicle, I'm just gonna go ahead and mandolin that up really thinly I like to take them and layer them around a pan and then cook them until they're crispy, give it a good flip, and that's gonna act as a blanket in the tortilla that's gonna surround all the other ingredients

Now we're just gonna let the other side cook for about two minutes We're gonna start building our testicle breakfast burrito The process of making a breakfast burrito is very, very important, you have to griddle the tortilla first I refuse to eat an ungriddled tortilla It's gonna make it nice and pliable

Then you add the potatoes, the testicle bacon, testicle chorizo and eggs, roll that up super, super tight, really packing the ingredients in there And then you wanna take the fold, and then if you sear it, it'll kinda steam it together The finished breakfast burrito is gonna get crusted in a gigantic blanket of melted cheese Am I using cheese as a crutch? Absolutely and I refuse to apologize for that So we just have to take all of this cheese and lay it out like a blanket across the griddle and we're gonna let that melt and then we're gonna roll our burrito up inside the cheese blanket

Now we just gotta put our burrito fold side down right in the cheese Just gonna take this, try and really get it to adhere and then get it all covered, pat it down, and here we have our bull testicle bacon breakfast burrito (suspenseful music) (uplifting pop-rock music) Jordan, welcome back – Thank you, I feel gross – That is very fair, well you ready? – Yes

– All right, what I've made for you today is the bull testicle bacon breakfast burrito – Wow – So it is a breakfast burrito that's been wrapped in a blanket of cheese– – Okay – And I turned the testicles into both bacon and chorizo – Okay, that's a nice cross-section by the way

– Thank you – That's the secret to a good breakfast burrito – It sure is, I tried to make it actually look like the inside of a testicle – I wasn't thinking that but now I am so I will enjoy this less – Great, I self-sabotage

It's part of what I do – I love the cheese sheet by the way I love that kind of griddled cheese – Thank you – Yeah

– I'm trying to really dazzle you with (beep) while you don't recognize that these are actually testicles inside there – (sighs) Okay – [Josh] Please grab a half, will you? And then we gotta– (mimics flatulence) Tip it and dip it – Mm, I mean greasy in a good way – [Josh] Mm-hmm

– Just how I like my testicles Yeah this is tasty, this has a lot of great flavor to it – Yeah – Yeah and the, I wouldn't know that this was ball meat – Are you focusing on the ball flavor? – Trying not to

– This does disguise it well There's over a half pound of just pure testicle in this burrito – Really? – Which one, nutritionally– – That's a lot of balls! – It's keto so– – Oh that's good – This is really delicious so would you say you're a convert, that you can now bow down and worship the testicle as your new favorite food? – Yeah, I mean from a theological standpoint, I wouldn't say so but– – That's fair – As far as being open to eating balls in the future, I think I'm open to it

– You mentioned Tapatio earlier – [Jordan] I did – King of breakfast hot sauces – [Jordan] Wow – This is my gift to you

– This is really gonna wake up these balls I mean it makes everything better – It really does – Yeah this is solid – Top three testicle I've ever had easily

– Oh yeah I'm willing to go there I'll meet you there, sure – The first two were in college, that doesn't count – We all experiment a little bit in college – Thank you so much for watching Food Fears

Come back next week to see me in a brand new show called Future Fast Food where I create the next mega viral fast food item

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