Ask Us Anything | Ear Biscuits

(upbeat music) – Welcome to Ear Biscuits I'm Link

– And I'm Rhett This week, at the round table of dim lighting, it's an AMA podcast You send us questions about anything and everything, and we've selected some of our faves That's F-A-V-S, short for favorites, for those of you who don't know that, which there is one person out there, just so you know, there's always one person who– – And you know what, you cleared it up for him – Yeah, right

– It's a guy – Oh, it's definitely a guy (chuckles) – You cleared it up for him – It's definitely a guy – The first question, 'cause we're gonna get right into this, comes from me because right before we started recording, my question was my statement to the people who are in the room, as I scan the room, not including you, was you guys, you're too young to see– – Oh, come on

You're gonna go there again? – Yeah, I– – I thought you just did that That was a pre-podcast thing Now you gotta bring it up Okay, whatever – I think it's worth bringing up because I need some camaraderie here because you didn't back me up

– I'm not a communist – I have hit, there was a time in my life where I had a television that in order to make it work, you had to hit the side of it and it worked Because we were trying to get this headphone thing working, and I told Megan just to hit it or blow in it like a cartridge – And it does work It's working now

– It is working now She did not hit it like a television – But there may come a time during this podcast in which it doesn't work At that point, I'm going naked That's shorthand for saying I'm taking my headphones off only

And I feel like I could do the whole podcast– – I'm so glad that that's all that meant – Without them I feel like it's a crutch I feel like the headphones are a crutch for a bad hair day (Link chuckles) – It explains why the back side of your hairdo is so flattened

– Yeah – Second question is from Kendall Sanders or Sanders If I recall correctly, Kendall had lots of good questions I think we've narrowed it down to this one If we were to switch bodies ala Freaky Friday, what is a quirk you think you may need to tell me about your body that I should be aware of? And she wrote it as if I was asking you

So this is me asking you If I switch to your body, what would you need to tell me about it and vice versa? And then she goes on, for example, some of mine would be my knees always crack It's nothing to be concerned about I have a cowlick in the right side of my head you'll never tame If your ankles start to hurt, just pop the toes and you'll instantly feel better

That's if you go into Kendall's body, become Kendall – I love this question I love this question because– – Pops her toes and her ankles feel better – Yeah, only Kendall knows that And could you imagine if you switched with Kendall and you had crazy ankles for three weeks, but you needed to know you just had to pop the toes

– And you couldn't talk to Kendall because that will be you – Yeah, so first of all, before we switch bodies– – Great question – Before you switch bodies with me, you would need like a week-long class I mean I am a very unusual– – Well, give me the truncated version here because what if it happens as a result of something we discussed or if we hit the invisible trigger? I didn't watch Freaky Friday – Yeah, I missed that one

Well, first of all, just being a large person, someone who's six foot seven, who's about an inch shorter than your typical doorframe, with hair grazing the doorframe, there's a whole doorframe conversation which is just when in doubt, duck, which is you're always in doubt so you should always duck a little bit while indoors – So just walk around hunched – Always be hunched – In high school, you did have a little bit of a hunch – Yeah, to fit the doorframes

I have since corrected my posture for the most part, mostly due to like yoga and Pilates, et cetera, but there's the body size thing but there's also like if you're trying to bike up a hill, your right knee is gonna start hurting If you're trying to just walk down a hill, your right knee's gonna start hurting and you really– – I wasn't tracking what you were saying for a second I didn't know you had moved on to other things I thought you were still talking about– – No, I've moved on – Your height going through a doorframe

So I thought you were presenting an analogy You know, if you bike up a hill, your right knee's gonna start hurting In the same way, you have to duck going through a doorframe – This is new stuff – You've moved on

Okay, so I should listen if I'm gonna become you Your right knee – Yeah, I can get little fellows out with my tongue – I knew that That's a good reason to become you because, a, I don't have tonsils anymore to have the tonsil stones in 'em

And it's so annoying being on the receiving end of, like you're making that face and I can tell you're digging your tongue into the back of your throat to pull out a pustule – I don't even get them anymore When was the last time you saw me make that face? It's been years – That's true – The reason is because I got so adept at just getting stuff out the moment that is in the tonsils that it's almost just like a, it's a completely, it's subconscious at this point

– It's part of your eating regimen? You just lick your tonsils? – I eat and then I clean my tonsils out – You lick your tonsils – Yeah, I don't even think about it anymore – See, and you know, you, biscuiteer, are feeling the same what I feel, which is this is gross Why are you talking about this? – Well, it's important information if you're gonna take over my body

– But I do, I am curious, when I do become you and I experience it from the inside out, if I will get it and be like, "Oh, I understand "why no matter how much I tell him it annoys me "or how gross it is to anyone, "including everybody listening, "that it's now worth it, I know that it's worth it" Is that what you're telling me? – Well, I'm just also saying when you turn your head to the left, when you do that, you're gonna feel four pops Completely normal, happens every time You're gonna have a recurring pain in the upper back, a recurring pain in the middle back, and a recurring pain in the lower back But if you get up and do a series of stretches, which I can give you diagrams, every single morning, preferably with your dog on your face the whole time, you will gain mastery over these things

Also, every once in a while, just while breathing, you're going to feel a sharp pain right in the middle of the chest You're going to think that you're having a heart attack It is not a heart attack It is also not a pinched lung, as Link would call – Yeah, a pinched lung

It's been pinched – Because the lungs don't have nerves It's just a spasm of sorts in your rather impressive pectoral muscles I will say that Let's see, what else? – Can you follow him on Instagram? (Rhett laughs) – I mean that's probably, that's just day one

I could go on I won't, because this is an unlikely scenario But I'm just saying I got a lot I got a lot I can tell you What about you? – When you enter my body and become me, that's kind of a weird way to put it, I would say just enjoy it, man

It's pretty, the water's fine – You don't have any like precautions, like don't touch sharp objects – No – I would at least say that – Just live with and sleep with reckless abandon, you know

The world is your oyster, man Just crack it Crack it, drop some Tabasco on it, and slurp it down Just enjoy it because it won't last forever, but it will change you forever I believe that

– You'll be you That's a pretty big change – When you change back to you, you will still have lasting effects of swimming in the ocean of Link – Oh, gosh Let's move on to the next question

– I could go on – Please don't – We'll both write manuals Mine will be an existential guided tour – Yours is not a manual

Yours is not helpful – Taaffe Andrews asks, do you have a paramedic on set? Oh, that's a good question So as we're filming Good Mythical Morning, do we have a paramedic? Yes – That is a recent addition – Yeah, it is

And on any given day, we have a rotation of paramedics It's not the same one everyday I don't think they can handle the suspense of me almost chopping your fingers off – But this is a slow build I will say that– – Blowing your face off of something by accident

– If you go back to the basics, you go back to the first few years of GMM, there was nothing If we had an accident– – I was your paramedic You were my paramedic – Someone was going to die And then that turned into sometime like 18 months ago– – Well, there was a middle point where we would, if we, I think one of the first person we, people we hired, we were looking for an editor

And so we were looking for an editor/CPR registered babysitter We didn't say that, but that's kind of– – I don't recall that – When we were looking at resumes, we knew we needed a lot – But I do seriously remember about 18 months ago, Stevie was like, "Well, several people on the crew are now CPR certified" It's like that's a good idea

(Link laughs) And then in November– – We'll give them something to practice on – When GMM became a YouTube Original and we were able to get some more resources, one of the resources that we got was a budget that allowed us to have a full-time paramedic And the funny thing is is regardless of who it is, I look over there and I see her face from time to time – It's like a hawk – It's never a relaxed face

It's always like it can hit the fan real quick here – You know what, maybe I'll own some of this I don't get the impression from the paramedics that I put them at ease – No, you don't – I just get that vague impression they're looking at me a lot

– They are looking at you most of the time This is true I mean there was a recent thing that we filmed that I'm not gonna describe because it's not out yet It's like a special thing It may never come out, by the way, depending on how the thing before it goes when it comes out

– Oh, that thing – So because we filmed your thing then we filmed my thing right afterward, even though we wanted to introduce space in between them for you to have some time to digest one before the next And when I was, I thought it was a near-death experience The point was I wasn't supposed to say anything There's like a conceit to this video

I'm sorry I can't give you details – I thought you were acting – I was not acting, but I was staying in character Ha, think about that – You did a good job

– No, I wanted to stay within the rules of the piece, but I was very afraid that I was dying – I think we should just release it no matter what the reaction to my thing is – Okay, especially now that I've talked about it without talking about it When I was done, I walked out and I was okay by that point I was still in pain, but I was okay, and I knew I wasn't gonna die

And I went by, I can't remember which paramedic it was, it kinda all blurs together Anyway, she was, I was like, "What would you have done?" And she was like, "Well, I was thinking about that, "but I didn't reach any conclusion" So she was there and she was thinking it through like, "Oh, I'm the one, but I don't know "how to deal with this specific thing" – I mean we can't really keep talking about it unless you wanna say what it was because– – Well, there's certain things that you're choking on that there's nothing you can do – Yeah, Heimlich doesn't work for certain things that you're choking on

– We'll leave it at that (laughs) – And we will get back to these questions in one second, but we will stop very briefly to let you know that you know what you can get, I actually wore it– – Tell me – On the podcast recently – Yes Cotton Candy Randy t-shirts, you guys

– It says, "Hi, daddies," which is Cotton Candy Randy's favorite thing to say – And when you put the shirt on, it whispers disturbing secrets in your ear – Cotton Candy Randy is my favorite person (Link laughs) And a lot of people think that this is a character played by Jordan, one of our writers, but actually, he's real It's just a real, I don't wanna say superhero, but fictional– – Person

– A real fictional person – He's a character He's a fake person played by Jordan Is that what you were saying? – No, he's like the Easter bunny He's a real fictional person

– Right – He's not just one of writers playing a character – He's a cultural phenomenon – And a lot of people really, and first of all Cotton Candy Randy is polarizing, and polarizing things are my favorite things – Polarizing things are great on t-shirts

– Yeah, and so if you hate Cotton Candy Randy, that's why I love Cotton Candy Randy Because if somebody doesn't hate it– – And that's why when you buy a shirt– – It's not worth loving If somebody doesn't hate it, it's not worth loving That's how I feel about it, because if everybody's just like– – You're looking at me like I'm supposed to vouch for that – "Ah, it's pretty good," then it's not great

Somebody's gotta hate it Some people hate Cotton Candy Randy That's what makes him so great – I will say the haters should go to mythicalstore and buy the Cotton Candy Randy t-shirt because then you– – You can burn it

– You're buying the right to deface it – Yeah, you can do whatever, it's not like money here You can buy our merch and destroy it – Right – Just as long as you buy it

You can destroy it You might wanna get it again – Support internet team Rep your teams – You can get that at both mythical

store but you can also get it at amazoncom/mythical, our Amazon store – Check out both of those stores because they have different stuff – Yeah – Except for that, which has both of them

– Yeah – It's your turn to ask a question – Well, then let me ask it This one's from Catherine Ziebarth – Yes

– I've always wanted to know what your wives think about your jobs! There's an exclamation point I didn't anticipate it Especially when you dress up like women – Well, that's weird – Cry-laugh emoji

Should I include emojis when I ask the question? – Yeah The part about dressing up like women does not blip their radar – No, because we do that at home most times – I'm just not digging into that one because it's, it's just a non issue – Yeah

– For me – Kids nor wives are ever surprised by what we may wear, come home smelling like It's just all a big blur at this point – Now you know, Christy nor my kids watch every episode of Good Mythical Morning You know, I come home and it's like they live with me

– That's the show right there – That is the show No, it's like, I don't know I don't think I'd wanna watch somebody that I lived with, watch their show every single day But then they do like it, and they do like to catch up on parts of it

So Christy doesn't watch that much or listen to Ear Biscuits Oh, today, I got a text from Christy, I'm pulling it up, just a few hours ago She texted me, "You don't believe in a soulmate?" (Rhett laughs) Which was our last Ear Biscuit conversation Did I say– – You know what happened, somebody out there– – She never listen to Ear Biscuits – They don't listen to our podcast

What happened is– – There's a rat – There's somebody who knows them, listen to our podcast and was like– – Them – Knows our wives and then– – You think Jessie might have gotten a– – I bet you when I get home tonight, I'm gonna get it (Link laughs) She ain't gonna text me – Did you say something? – She just gonna wait till I get home

– She's gonna ambush you – I said the same thing, but she knows this is how I feel already She knows that In fact, I think the fact that she knows that that's how I feel makes our love even more special, right, honey? – Well, let's pause on that for a second This is what I responded to Christy

Ha ha – Oh – I was telling you about this – (laughs) Oh, gosh Ah

Oh, really, that's your response? – I think I was – Ha ha? – I think I did I'm pretty sure that I had mentioned to her that this has come up on an Ear Biscuit – Oh, but it hasn't come up in a personal conversation before? – Not in recent years No, it's not like dinner talk for us

Hey, let's bring up that are we soulmates conversation again I honestly– – It's not are you soulmates It's is there such a thing as soulmates – I know And then she responded, "I don't remember

" And of course, I can't tell if there's sarcasm in that I don't know I haven't talked to her And I was like, "Yeah, and I love you, and I actually "do think you are my soulmate, smiley face "It's our special secret

" – Oh, gosh What? What? And you left it at that? – And then she says, "Nope (Rhett laughs) "That secret needs to be made public" – Oh, well, it has been now – And I responded, winky face emoji

– (laughs) Oh, gosh It's almost like you're in a different conversation – There it is right there Yeah, yeah, yeah – Well, first of all, that's not a winky face emoji

That's a semi-colon and a parenthesis – Old school, man – Do you not understand how it's done? – Old school – There's a whole keyboard for it – I also hit televisions to get them to function

You think the winky– – I actually think that it will automatically translate into an emoji if you do it right – I didn't, but maybe that is a successful distraction technique – The biggest revelation in this whole exchange is that you're still doing the semi-colon and the parenthesis, honestly, on a phone In an email, it's one thing On a phone? – I'm certain I've talked to her about it, but she does not listen to this podcast, and we have a rat

– Who is the rat? It could be my sister-in-law It could be your brother-in-law – Yup – There's a number of people – Well, that's the only two I can think of

Your sister-in-law listens to this? – Yeah, I recently found out, my brother's wife – Oh, yes – She likes to listen to it while she does things – Oh, gosh, she's listening right now We're making it worse

You know what, you've done aplenty, as we would say You've done aplenty, you who know who you are I like rats Many people have rats as pets – But in general, our wives really love our show except when we say things like there are no such thing as soulmates

– I'm certain that I've talked to Christy about her not being my soulmate any more than any, I almost texted back, I was like– – But you're still putting it wrong You don't say, "You're not my soulmate" You're gonna be like, "I don't believe in the concept of soulmates" – Yeah, and you know what, I could be wrong – You can become a soulmate

– I changed my mind – You can become a soulmate – This is much easier this way I was wrong I am really sorry

Christy is my soulmate I'm her soulmate I don't know about anybody else – Yup, and Jessie's my soulmate too – Right

Solved – Katie Ann Lengvarsky – Yes – How do your kids handle you guys being famous? I'm not sure if you'd like that to be the word I use, but you understand Oh, you can say it

(chuckles) (Link laughs) Since they go to school and everyone is on the internet Do they love it, hate it? Do all their friends watch you guys? This is a great question Katie Ann because I think that or kids do have opinions about this – Yeah, they do I mean Lily's 14 Locke is 13

Lincoln is 12 Shep, how old is Shepherd? – Nine – Nine, and then Lando is seven And they're all about to increment up a year – Many of them, everyone except Shep will turn a new year in the next 12, in the next four, 20, 30 days

– How many numbers can you say wrong? – I don't know – 12, four, 20 – None of those were prime numbers though I'm proud of that (Link laughs) – So weird

Well, I know your eldest, Locke has been more concerned about it than Lily, which surprised me a little bit, Lily going to a new school and all – I mean my interpretation is that Locke wants to be his own person, wants to establish his own deal, doesn't want to be first and foremost known as my son – You never get a first chance to make a second impression – Yup And there are situations like there have been some things like there was an event at his school that was like some sort of like pancake breakfast or something

And this is like when he had been going to school for like a week or two, and he was new to school because they had been homeschooled And he was like, "Dad, I don't want you to come to that," because if I go to something with kids in that age group, the pictures start and it just becomes about me being there And so– – Yeah So you and me, you know why – Yeah, and I'm like, "Cool, I don't wanna go anyway

" No, but so I get out of a lot of things No, but I totally get it And then we had, there was like an event, like an Oktoberfest event that some of his friends were going to but we were also gonna go to And he was like, "I don't wanna walk around with you" And I get it, I totally get it

– And I actually went to that thing or something very similar to it with Lincoln He's a grade lower at the same school Yeah, there were those moments, there were like some pictures opportunity moments, and there was just a risk there of like was this, how's that gonna, Lincoln wasn't too fazed by it but– – I don't like it when it happens at one of his things – Yeah – Like a sporting event or something like that

Like the team that you just played wants to, kids from that team wanna come get a picture of me, I'm just like, but I don't wanna be a jerk to those kids and be like, "No" – Yeah, that's happened to me too Lincoln's opponents are taking pictures with me There's a loyalty thing happening here – Right, I don't take pictures with the enemy

– But I mean I went to Lando's grade school for some event, and he was like so excited to have me there And then there were a few like with those younger kids, even a few picture moments happening, and like he just went away He went somewhere else He did not wanna stay right there I mean he's, Lando's pretty shy

He definitely would never see that as an opportunity, hey, hey, hey, like I probably would have when I was his age – And Shepherd does – Oh, and Shepherd– – We were talking about this right when they were starting school I figured that the word would get around So we were just talking about if kids come up and like ask you, "Is your dad on the internet," or whatever

And Locke was like, "Yeah" He kinda took the approach, he was like, "Sometimes I just say no, "or like I don't know what you're talking about "because I don't wanna have a conversation about it" – But Shepherd – But Shepherd was like, "I told my class on day one (Link laughs) "My dad's on YouTube

" He's in third grade though – I can picture him standing up and just telling everybody in class Now I mean when we were first talking about that with Lincoln, I was like, "Lincoln, does this concern you?" And he was like, we both have discussed helping our kids be a good judge of character that their friends wanna be their friends and not just proxy our friends through our kids, just think it's cool to be associated – You want them to be friends because of them, not because of us – And then Lincoln comes home a few days later, he was like, "Can I get your autograph? "I wanna give it to a friend of mine

" I'm like, "Weren't you listening, son?" – Fist of all, it's 2018 Autographs are not thing – Signature, is that what we call it now? – No, I'm saying– – But it gets difficult because there's a fundraiser at Lando's school He loves his school And then a teacher asked me if I would show up to be one of the prizes for the kids that raised the most money

– You're gonna come out of a cake? What are you talking about? – A meet and greet situation – Okay, and potentially both of us But you know, I knew how sensitive Lando was, and it's a hard thing to say no to when it's like, you just feel like they're not gonna understand why they're saying no, but this would really impact how the school viewed Lando potentially And you know, there's enough things that he's trying to figure out– – How are the other kids? – How are the other kids? What did I say? – The school, I mean– – All the kids in the school, yeah, would start to see him And just like you don't wanna be defined by somebody else or something else that's not you, in general, I don't think

But it was a hard thing to say no to It was easy that that was the right choice for us, but it was, it's tough saying no when you feel like you can't, you try to explain why, but it's, you know, it's frustrating for the person planning because they had a good idea in their mind And then you're like, practically, now you gotta start over – Right, yeah – And I might be a jerk

I don't know Give me another question – Actually, I think– – Is it my turn? I've got a page – You've got some questions now – MinervaLGP asks do you play any bets between the two of you? It looks like you are very much into games and competition on GMM

Does that happen often IRL? That's a Good Mythical Morning Versus in real life – Hmm, both acronyms Yeah, this is actually something that we've done for a long time, going back to when we were kids Most of the time, it's like if I can hit that rock, if I can hit that pole with this rock, you gotta give me $5 – That was the beauty of childhood

The way that we worked, man, we were just like, just like coyotes on the prowl around Buies Creek, just had all the time in the world to do whatever we wanted, and we just mosey Sometimes you just mosey down the street, pushing your bike or whatever – Or riding the bike – And many, many, many times, I would say 98, 95% of the time, you would instigate some sort of pseudo athletic prowess bet – That's what life's all about

– You know, it's like throwing this, this was pre Dude Perfect We were still hitting televisions to make them work – Yup – But it was, you know, can you throw this rock over the power line but then get it through the hoop in my basketball goal as I'm entering the door to get a Kit Kat from the cabinet – Well, it doesn't have to be that intricate but– – But then we would sit there

We had time to mosey We would sit there for 20 minutes trying to do it – Here's the beautiful thing about this is that you can take what otherwise is just a completely boring moment in life If you have an object and an environment, you can create a challenge that can get a group of people so fired up And I absolutely love to do this

– If it's comedically frivolous enough, then I'll also get involved But the competition aspect of it doesn't resonate with me, but the sheer nuts factor is what I love – 'Cause here's what, here's the beautiful thing – So it's not about winning money – Not too long ago– – There never really is money involved

– I mean we always say that nobody ever gets paid but our friend Mike, Mike was featured in the quest for the perfect taco on our Instagram Story – Yeah, from, oh, oh, yeah – So Mike was out here, and we were at my basketball goal at my house And we were, I like, it was like, alright, I'm gonna see if I can throw it up on top of the house, two-story house, have it bounce off of the Spanish tile roof, which is not a predictable bounce – No, it's not at all

– Come back down and go into the hoop – We're talking about a horse here? – This wasn't even a horse because no one can actually, we played a game of horse, but then we just started trying this shot And then we quickly learned that the chances of this going in are so slim that if it does go in, we're gonna go nuts And so just one after another, the three of us just rotating, kept doing it – And never once did you think we should film this

– No – And send it to Texas – But when it happened– – It did happen? – It did I hit it, I made it – You did? How long did it take? – 12 minutes, you know

I mean we're shooting a lot – So it felt more impossible than it was – Yeah, but when it happened, the celebration, the embraces, the jumping in the air, the yelling, you would think that someone had won something significant But no, we just created a little challenge – Or had like a child

– Just the other day, when we were, we were shooting the Dude Perfect parody thing – Field Goals – The Field Goals – Kicks – We got down to the end

– Yeah, we got it done – And I was like I'm gonna throw this football into that trashcan – Yeah, from a distance that any middle school quarterback– – It wasn't, it was like 20 yards, and I threw it like 20 times and then eventually– – No, no, what? You threw once, then I threw it And when I threw it, I almost hit it right off the bat – Yeah, but neither of us made it

It never– – Well, my shoulder got hurt, and then the paramedic had to come over and help me with it – Exactly, exactly Like two throws in, Link's sitting down, getting massages from a paramedic, (Link laughs) the only useful thing the paramedic has done the whole time that we've been employed – Well, no She's given us a sense, a veneer of safety

– Well, it's very useful that she's there I'm just saying– – She kept our insurance policy legit – Yeah, yeah – Those are two big things And then the third thing is– – The most work

– When my shoulder got tweaked in the quarterback zone– – Quarterback zone – She lent a hand When you say give a massage from the– – The massage lasted 20 minutes I was like, "When is Link gonna get back into this?" I lost heart, man I didn't even get it in there because I lost heart because you just got a massage in the middle of it

– But Andrew, the cameraman, started tossing it – Yeah, but nobody did it – Not the same as me, huh? – No – You can say it – It wasn't the same

– That's it – Anyway– – Shoulder still hurts, and thanks for asking – I think it's a great way to inject some stakes into your life – I think I have a hereditary shoulder issue I went to therapy a few years back

That's what got me back into the gym, to maintain the ground I regained from physical therapy in this joint in my shoulder But my dad, he came, he picked me up from college one day, and he took me Christmas shopping to buy my gifts, because that was our tradition And we were having a good ol' time in the Crabtree Valley Mall, and I just leaned over and I just punched him on the shoulder, what we call a love lick My granddad would always pinch me or give you a twister in the key region, or like just a good wallop on the arm, or a frog on the leg, that's a love lick So I gave my dad one of those

That's just the way to non verbally say I love you and I'm powerful And my dad didn't tell me for like six months, but I severely damaged his shoulder He said it started hurting, so he had to go to the doctor, and like the ligament had separated – Oh, gosh You were such a jerk, man

Didn't you feel bad? – I'm such a jerk I felt horrible! And he didn't tell me for six months And now I think I'm getting it So I'm literally telling my kids no love licks in the shoulders You know how broad they are

(laughs) – Usually, that means they're not as susceptible to (mumbles) – I mean they're really far apart, and not in a good way, in like a disproportionate robot kind of a way – Yeah, it's like side view mirrors that are just waiting to be clipped by another car – And then the collarbones are so prominent – Yeah

– There's something just anatomically is not correct about my shoulder region – You need to wear shoulder pads all the time – Like my mom in the '80s? – Yeah – And the '90s And the early 2000s

– You can bring them back You could bring those back, man – I could just go raid her closet for all of her trench coats I'll be like Kevin Smith bu with more shoulder pads Let's ask another question

– Yeah, ask one – Laurel Ann Browning As lifelong best friends, have you ever had the conversation, "If I die first, I want to" Ooh, it's getting to death – If I die first, I want to – Have we had this conversation? She wants to know

– Well, we did have the like tactical, logistical conversation just about like, because we had to like create our whole insurance deal like a couple of years ago when we like– – Yeah – Went through the whole process of like creating wills and insurance and that kind of thing, but none of that really answers the question – Well, because I mean it turns out if you have a successful business as a duo, I mean that where you're kind of the faces of this thing, it was pointed out to us, I mean we had to explore all this stuff that literally included like if one of us dies, like what happens, I mean because we have this catalog of videos that, you know, I mean face it, when one of us dies, a lot of you will watch a lot of 'em, even more so than they're being watched now So that generates income And so it was like, well, how do you distribute that? If I die, well, I get– – I get all the money

– No, because I got a family – Well, that's what my contract says (Link laughs) No, so– – And then it was like vice versa, and then it was like if we both die – It's like when they say that like Taylor Swift has her legs insured, which I don't know if that's an urban legend or it's true, but basically– – It used to be Mary Hart They just updated the urban legend

– The duo is insured, right? So when the duo is no longer a duo because of the untimely death of one of the duos, one part of the duo– – It's really– – Our wives, the other person's wife will be well taken care of There's an insurance payment which basically, so like let's say I die– – Good – Then now you're figuring– – No, I don't mean good I mean if one of us, if we're gonna say one of us, it's good that you chose yourself – And so then, you have to kinda figure out what are you gonna do, right? What's next for the Linkster? Which incidentally, I do think– – That's a much bigger question

– I do think you should begin to refer to yourself as the Linkster – At that point – Because you just– – Right – What I found is that with the exception of Cher, you can't just have a one-syllable name and just be known by that – Link, too short

– You got Oprah You got Madonna You gotta go to the Linkster, with a V That's my first piece of advice But also– – I already knew that

– You will get paid an insurance payment, which is the whole Link transforming into the Linkster transition period where you're figuring out what you're gonna do What is the Linkster gonna be known for? Are you gonna learn to juggle? I suggest that as well You can take it or leave it All these ideas are great – There'll be quite a bit of floundering

– And the floundering will be covered by an insurance payment – And by that, I literally mean fishing for flatfish whose eyes are– – The Linkster floundering – Right – You're gonna be like a Bill Dance – A sabbatical

Bill Dance, yeah – Was that his name? – I was watching Bill Dance– – You know, there's a Reddit montage – Yes! – You saw that? (laughs) – I saw it a couple of weeks back – It's so good – Bill Dance was a– – Is it Bill Dance? Ia that his name? – Bill Dance, verify that please

– Fisherman Bill Dance – He had a fishing show, and I think he still does, and he wears a Texas hat – Tennessee – Tennessee Ooh, I'm sorry

– Oh, gosh, you just offended so many people – I know, I'm just– – It's an orange tea, not a burnt orange longhorn – It's Tennessee – We just lost a lot of fans – They're gone

Now I'm just talking to you 'cause that's all we have Yeah, so just, I mean it's kind of Winnebago Man-ish – Is it Bill Dance? Yeah – But it's Bill Dance talking to the camera while he's fishing, and then all types of stuff happens – He's the greatest

– No – You're the greatest – The Winnebago Man is the greatest – Oh – No

– They're all the greatest – They're both great – They're both great, right Why do I always forget that? But anyway, that's taken care– – It's the worst runner in the history of Good Mythical Morning, by the way – It always has to be reestablished and reexplained to us what it is

– I saw comments on that – But it's a legitimate question We're having the conversation now Link's gonna potentially be a fisherman – But they're saying if I, what Laurel wanna know is what our funeral plans are, which we specified a lot of those in the book

So we won't go through that, Book of Mythicality – And that does lead into a tandem question, Faith Shuecraft, will you be buried next to each other (chuckles) – Yeah, so if we die together, that's simple We know how the money split to the families, and you don't have to worry about floundering – Right

But before we answer if we would be buried next to each other, so I think that it's not– – Oh, you're teasing that – It's not like– – That's a big one, huh – Yeah, yeah, I like to tease when I can It's not like, well, you would go back to being an engineer or I would go back to being an engineer just because we have, we would obviously continue on in some sort of entertainment – Yeah

– And then there's questions of like do we need, should we replace the person or should we just be a solo act? These are all legitimate questions that we would– – Answer right now? – Whoever is left That's a cross that bridge when the person dies situation – Right, and again, there's money for floundering – Yeah And you never know what it's gonna be Is this a death you can see coming from miles away? Or is this sudden? Real interesting, not sad at all stuff

– So we're pushing that off, but if we die at the same time, will we be– – Or not – Or not Will we buried– – No A, I'm not gonna be buried, okay? I'm gonna be cremated B, okay, was that news to you? – I just, once they asked it, I was like, "Man, that would be pretty cool, "be buried next to each other

" – Well, I guess if I get cremated, then dividing the ashes up is easy But do you, you don't, do you have like a, do you have like a grave site that you can go to when you get cremated? I thought you're just on a shelf somewhere – I have been thinking that I will be, I think in the book, we say that we're gonna be cremated because that led to like a comedic– – I've said cremated for quite some time now – But I really like the idea of biodegrading in a biodegradable box – It is the most environmentally responsible way

– And I've already done it once – You can't be, you have to be, yeah, he was, yes He was buried alive in a cardboard box, Commercial Kings – In the pilot episode of Commercial Kings – You can watch, first of all– – You can watch it on iTunes

– Commercial Kings is available You can watch it on iTunes or Amazon It's just a show we did like seven years ago on IFC – The pilot episode– – It's a good show You should watch it

– We went to Asheville, North Carolina, and we did a commercial for a company called Bury Me Naturally And it was a woman who– – Carol – Carol, Carol Motley – Carol Motley I remember everything about it

– Yeah She sold biodegradable cardboard caskets And of course, if we're gonna make an ad for it, you had to test it out – And Rhett wouldn't fit in the freaking– – You had to test it out – Rhett wouldn't fit in the freaking cardboard box

– Yeah – So he buried me in it – Right – And you know what, I'd do it all over, but I would be dead – Yeah, being dead, you'd be less nervous

– Here's the thing, you know, like a mausoleum, you've got like those drawers If you take a casket and you put it above ground, I'm calling that a one-person mausoleum Take two of those, stack it on top of each other, I'm calling that a two-person mausoleum But you know what that looks like? A GMM desk Then on top of that, you put a microphone, you put two limestone, let's make it limestone

You'll be made out of wood I'll be made out of limestone – But what about your wife? – I'll get to that (Rhett laughs) – What about your soulmate? – Then we have visages (laughs), visages, statues Here's the answer

– Hold on This is a pretty, I mean, you wanna have statues of yourself? – Self aggrandizing, isn't it? Well, it wouldn't be open to the public I wouldn't charge tickets – This is in a room somewhere? – This is in a– – Or somewhere in the woods – This is in a private– – Reserve

– Pasture This is in the pasture where we made the blood oath – Maybe it's like a gorilla reserve That would be cool, and you have to like get through the gorillas to get to the statues You know, it turns out gorillas are actually very peaceful

– Spoiler alert – But they're very scary and intimidate most people – Gorillas are peaceful – So the people who know the truth can just walk right up to the statues And if you pull on the microphone, there's audio of something that we said at some point

– Plenty of that to go around – We can make that right now Hello, welcome to the Rhett and Link monument – Look to your left That's George, the gorilla

– Or a relative of George, because we don't know how long George is gonna be around – Just name them all George That's a footnote – Yeah, they're all named George – He looks pretty intimidating

– You had the good sense to walk through the gorillas, knowing that they are naturally vegetarian and very unlikely to eat you – They could still rip you to shreds – Good for you – Thanks for showing up – Please return your map to the visitor center

– Upon exit – You can also download the app, but it's too late for that because there's no cell service or whatever they call it now in this part of the forest Good day – Just put your $50 in this box right here – Or any– – Any amount

– Any amount is accepted – Over $50 – To help keep up the pristine condition of this monument – Okay, end of recording Side note, we're not in that

Our bodies, our remains are not in there – That's why I used the term monument – Right, right – Because I'm gonna be buried next to my wife – With my soulmate

– My soulmate, but I'm not gonna be buried – I'm gonna be, well, I am I'm gonna biodegrade – I want to be spread I want my ashes to be spread 50% Pacific Ocean, 50% Cape Fear River, – You're being real now

– I am, and my wife knows this But if I decide to go biodegradable, she's gonna have to cut me in half And I don't know if it's gonna be like cut me at the waist I think she should but me down the middle – She's not doing any of it

– She's instructing people to do this Cut me down the middle because the top half seems more important Well, the bottom half is pretty important If you cut me– – Mostly (mumbles) where it counts – You cut me down the middle so it's laterally one half of my body

That part is, you can't just throw a dead body into the ocean or the river though – No – Okay, you gotta burn part of me Cut my hands off, burn those Bury the body next to my wife

Put one charred hand in the Pacific Ocean and one charred hand in the Cape Fear River – You think this is fun and games, man – Nothing fun about it, man Just trying to cover my bases Facetious Peasant, I'm sorry, Facetious Pheasphant, a very active member of the mythical community, asks a lot of questions

Link, will you ever return to Instagram or at least post one last picture? – Is that it? – That's it – Man – Well, there's a #earbiscuits, but I thought that was unnecessary – Last year, I was like, "You know what, "I'm really feeling that I should be on Instagram again," but I just need some incentive to come back And so I was like what if we did something on the show that would get me back on Instagram? And then we were like yeah, people will enjoy that

And then come the top of the year, we started filming these segments I'm wrong It was earlier than that because it was at the launch of the expanded GMM – It was last year, yeah – It was one of the first weeks, so that was in– – November

– So the idea was in October-ish Anyways, it was at that, like the transitional point in the, long story short, I just wasn't, I wasn't happy with the segments – Well, you weren't the only one – Right Nothing was how, we wouldn't do it like that now

And then of course, we did it again because it was like, well, maybe we just need to, you know, we can keep– – No, we just need to do it better – I think enough mythical beasts care about me returning to Instagram that maybe we can just do it again It didn't change enough, and we still weren't happy with it Again, not something we would do now in terms of like the approach and the tone and the– – Well, can we talk about that for just a second before you talk about your Instagram? – Oh, sure – Because I know you wanna talk about specifically what you're planning– – Well, I'm just saying I was disappointed because I actually thought that that would lead to me getting back on Instagram

But we're not doing that segment anymore because I didn't like it You can talk about it as much as you want – And I think it's bigger than that too because I mean I didn't like it as well, but it seems like the mythical beasts didn't like it Because it's interesting, I think we said this We did our whole podcast where we defended ourselves against the decision to change the format of Good Mythical Morning, and I, you know, I got a little, I was offended, as you could tell, by the way that I handled myself in that podcast

– You were offended by yourself? – I was offended by myself No, I'm just saying that I was struggling with the fact that so many people were responding the way they're responding and making accusations that they were making about what we were, why we were doing it and stuff And then we had that raw, this is what we're thinking right now, talking about it ahead of time podcast, which was based on some of the response to that podcast I was kinda like, you know what, I kinda lost my appetite for defending myself about creative decisions, at least for a while In terms of the process of how we– – Why? Are you prepared to say why that is? – I think that, I think in general, I think it can be helpful to explain yourself or why you're doing things, but it seems to me that the people who would be affected by your defense don't really care for it, and the people who would be affected by your defense don't need it, with rare exception

So you know, because you know, when you said– – But you don't think that I mean the vast majority of responses weren't positive? – No, no, I mean like we said before– – So it was kinda helpful to give window into how we were assessing or how passionately we felt about things I mean– – I could have focused more on the positive things that people were saying and less on trying to defend myself against what I thought were unfair accusations about the reasons why we were doing what we were doing It's just a natural human response to, when you're accused of something, to want to give your perspective – So I think we can put in one pile defending yourself against accusers is something that you've decided not to do, now but a lot of that podcast, for both of us I think, or both of those conversations, was not coming from a defensive place but coming from an explanatory place, which is a little bit different It's like maybe we had mythical beasts who were scratching their heads, but they gave us the benefit of the doubt but there was still doubt or just gaps

So I think it's a different thing, explaining yourself and defending yourself, right? – But explaining yourself can often seem like defending yourself, and I think sometimes they are the same thing – Yeah – All that to say that we tried a lot of things early on, that segment being one of them, and a few other things like that And the way I would describe that segment was a scripted segment that took place at the desk And what we learned very quickly is that it isn't that people don't want us to do scripted content

It's that they don't want scripted content to invade the non-scripted space, which I call that the desk You know what I'm saying? So it's like doing something that is obviously written ahead of time at the desk, people don't have an appetite for that, and I totally get that – Yeah – If we do a sketch, or we do something where we're playing characters, or if we do something where we're, we actually have a couple of things coming out very soon that it's more along the lines of a traditional, it's not really a sketch, but it's just written jokes, but it's the environment that we're doing it in is more like– – Not the desk – Yeah

And it's a shorter video, and it's more like a traditional Rhett and Link before GMM sort of internet video And once we kind of, we've started to understand it like, oh, it isn't that people don't want us to try to be funny in different ways It's that they're not comfortable with us trying this in this environment, and I think that segment was one of those things – Scripting things at the desk just ripped the heart out of what we built at the desk, and I think it was very good to be reminded of that As a side note, Rhett just kind of gave a window into just kind of the way that we're thinking about the three videos, the yellow border video, the middle one, and being, as he just said, more of a, if we remove the creative constraints of our show, and so now we can open up to any idea we want that we wanna, (clears throat) excuse me, tackle comedically, we can do it in any way for the internet and not be, not have to, I was gonna say Velcro it in, but wedge it in

– Or you can Velcro it in It's very rough – Wedge it into where we do our show But you know, back to the Instagram thing, I think it particularly pinched a nerve or pinched a nerve because for those of you who want me back on Instagram, you legitimately want me back on Instagram So if we're gonna explore that on the show, I mean you don't wanna toy with it so much that it seems disingenuous

So I think that was a second strike against that thing was that we made it into a comedy bit that, yes, was scripted, but was also, it brought in a question of whether I was actually gonna come back to Instagram at all (chuckles) And the plan was to come back – Is the plan still to come back? – Well, it's not gonna be that way And so now, it's like– – And I do think it's– – I saw a while back that there was a buzz that James Hetfield, the lead singer for Metallica, after five years or six years or whatever it was, came back to Instagram And I don't know what his picture was

I was gonna click on it, and then I didn't wanna think about it at that moment So I literally ran away from the tweet I put my phone down and ran away So now I'm back to the pressure that I described as the premise for the whole bit, which is, man, can you just sneak in the backdoor of your big party, or do you come in the front door with your sequins on and say, "I've made it! "Here I am!" – I mean at this point, that analogy doesn't work because there is only a front door for you to return to Instagram through – Yeah, but if I'm just like, if I put like a picture of my carpet

– Yeah, but everyone would see you It's like walking into a party covered in a carpet Everybody still sees you – I would be under the carpet – But I do think that it's necessary to– – James Hetfield, it was just a picture of him holding up, he was drinking coffee

– What does that say? – What's the coffee mug say? Have a glorious day But then when he picks it up, it's somebody flipping a bird underneath the coffee mug – Oh, yeah, the coffee middle finger – It's very Metallica – Ironic in a Metallica way

– It's very Metallica – Well, but I think it's important for you to– – But it was cute and understated – For people to understand too that your return to Instagram, it would be a lot of hoopla around the first image, but then you'd be like me, probably worse than me – Oh, gosh, worse – In terms of how often you post

I mean I think I– – Oh, I thought you meant promoting myself on my podcast – Oh, yeah, yeah – I would be so much worse than you – Yeah, yeah But I mean we're both, let's just face it, man, we're both really bad at social media

Like naturally, our natural disposition to our social media is just really not great – I legitimately have hit the side of a television in order to get it to work I'm telling you That tells you everything you need to know about why I'm not on Instagram But I wanna come back

– I want you to come back – And I'm paralyzed! – I want you to come back but– – I'm paralyzed! – Don't put so much pressure on yourself because you know that when you come back, there's still gonna be like a month between pictures, and that's okay – I think I should– – And the first one should be you covered in carpet – But I have a world of pictures from the past Can I just like act like it's my Instagram– – No, no, no

– From a year ago and just like everyday, I'm posting a new picture– – I don't think that's how it works – Of all the pictures I've been taking privately – No Let's pick the best question of the remaining questions I think you probably have a better one than I have here

Nothing against this particular question but– – I'll read them all out loud, then the ones we don't answer, people can conjecture about using #earbiscuits and see if they can be answered without us You wanna do that? – Let's do these two I think we can do these two because they're fun questions that we can move through very quickly – So we're skipping Ryan Ordonez If you were on Amazing Race, who would take the lead? – Why are you gonna read a question? – I just told you that's what I was gonna do

And I asked you should I do that – Well, of course, you shouldn't do that – You didn't say anything – It's a great question Yeah, I win

Okay, go to the next question – It wasn't who would win It was who would take the lead I would drive – You would drive? – I get car sick

– Yeah, and we would wreck – Even in a cab, I would drive Look at us answering it Hannah asks, or should I, this isn't just Hannah This is half moon emoji, Hannah, full sun symbol

– That's a full spectrum there – What's your favorite texture? – I love this question – Do you? What's your favorite texture? – Is gummy a texture? – It may be a good texture in your mouth, but what about like in your hands? – In my hands, everywhere, in my hands, on my body, in my mouth Gummy things do something for me Like a very large gummy bear, I would sleep next to one of those

It's not my soulmate or anything, but the idea of just– – Wife on one side, blob of gummy on the other – Just a large gummy, just a hunk of gummy and just putting it on my cheek and then taking a bite out of it, and then putting it back on my check, and then rubbing it with my fingers, I love the idea of all this – But with gummy comes sticky That is a bad texture for me, stickiness – Sticky's not a texture

Sticky is a side effect of this particular thing that has the texture that I love – Sticky is a freakin' texture – You know what, you can get a gummy bear that doesn't have stickiness Yeah, you take the sugar out of it The gelatin doesn't have any sticky in it

– You do not eat those without the sugar – It would be a horrible experience, but the texture would be great I'd love to just have a mask that was shaped just like my mouth that I could just put my face into everyday – Are you talking about like Haribo– – Gummy mask – Gummy buoyancy, not buoyancy but bounciness

– Even a little softer than that – Or are you talking about like that– – Unwet Jell-O – Unwet Jell-O? Are you talking about the fruit snacks that your mom used to buy that were not the hardened ones but the real mushy ones? – Ooh, those, the Welch's – Are they Welch's? – They were shaped like grapes – Like grapes and cherries

– Oh, boy, if I could just have a bed made out of that – My mouth is watering – Man! – You'd sweat, and it'd all get sticky – Yeah, I'd have somebody remake it every night This is in a dream world where I have unlimited access to people who just generate gummy things for me

The whole house would be gummy The furniture would be gummy – Gummy (mumbles) – I'll have a gummy steering wheel I'd eat it

I'd use it This is the world I wanna live in That's what I'm gonna do if you die I just answered the question I'm gonna create a gummy world that I live in

– I thought my favorite texture was– – ThaGummyMancom Probably ThaGummyMannet because I'm sure that's taken – ThaGummyMan

net – T-H-A, Tha Gummy Man – I thought my favorite texture was, the first thing I thought of was Jade's fur – That's sweet – But when you started talking about gummy, I realized there is a superior texture, and I can't place where I've experienced this specifically

But let me describe it to you, and please help me remember where this has been experienced because I've been, it's like the opening scene of the drama where they're so in love and then they're separated by war and distance and glaciers And they're spending the whole movie trying, will they reunite? And one of 'em has memory loss It's like a cushiony thing It's like it's got a vinyl, like a really supple vinyl over a cushion that when you push in on it and then you take your hands away, it stays the same for a second and then it slowly starts to come back– – Memory foam? – To its original shape Like memory foam but it's got a plasticy film over it

Jacob's saying a wrist rest on a mouse foam – That's more like, that's a little gummy – Now that's more gummy – Yeah – This is something, it's like– – And I love that too

– I think it's a certain type of neck pillow that is cold to the touch, and then it's plasticy but it's a very supple, suppleness to it And it mushes in, and then when you remove your hands, it slowly, it's a type of memory foam inside of this thing That's better than memory foam because that's my favorite texture – So you're saying that I should– – It's almost like a stress ball – A memory foam bed in all my life

I already sleep on a memory foam bed – But it's got a latex covering over it It's like a stress ball There's a certain type of stress ball that does this, but I've experience in a bigger way But for a fact, it is absolutely in a stress ball

It's like got a vinyl-y, supple vinyl on the outside – Supple vinyl, that's Link's favorite texture – Favorite texture – Last question – Ryan Morris asks, what is the oldest object that you use on a daily basis? That's an interesting question

– Oldest object – Oldest object – Every single day There's only a few things I come in contact with every single day Yeah, I know what it is

– Give me yours, because I'm at a loss I'm kinda stepping through my day but, I actually have a guess of what yours might be – Okay, guess it – Your permanent retainer – I don't use it everyday

– What? It's permanent It's stuck in your mouth forever What do you mean you don't use it everyday? – I took that out, man – Oh, you did? – It came loose and the dentist took it out That's why my bottom– – You didn't tell me

– My bottom teeth are crooked now – You didn't tell me she was gone – You see that? – Yeah – I actually have another retainer that I don't wear That's why my bottom teeth are crooked

– Well, I'm a little, I just can't believe you didn't tell me that she was removed – That would be the filling, a filling, of course That was something that's, my ring, I'm not counting that – Oh, you're not? Like an object that you use that's not on your person Because I have a couple of sealants that my nana snuck into the dentist's office over the weekend and put in there

– Well, you're getting very, very technical – I'm being honest – I've got sealants that, in fact, the last time I went to the dentist, he was like, "Your sealants are still intact from when you were a kid" – Mine too – Yeah

– My nana worked for the dentist, but she was not a dentist And then she would sneak me in on the weekend and give me things like sealants because she was a dental assistant She did all the dentist things – She stole from the dentist – Well, who, incidentally, was your father-in-law

– Yup, mm-hmm She stole from him You owe me – I'm sure– – Your family stole from my family – I'm sure she told him, and it didn't matter

– He didn't care Now so okay, if sealants or fillings or the ring, your glasses, I don't want– – I think you're frustrated because I was right Now the thing you're gonna tell me is not as old – No, no, no I'm saying an object that you come in contact with in use

Like for you, it might be your glasses, because I feel like the ring and the, things that you wear, yeah, technically – Well, fine, we can go outside of the body – But I'm thinking something that I come in contact with every single day for a moment in time and I keep coming back to it every single day – Let me, can I guess what it is? – It has to do with my mouth – So this is in the bathroom? – Mm-hmm

– Your toothbrush is the oldest thing you've come in contact with? – No, but close – I know what it is – What? – You still have one of those freaking tongue brushes from Orabrush! – I have the original Orabrush tongue brush – What? – And it has not lost any of its effectiveness – Gosh! I mean they sponsored our videos– – Seven years ago? I don't know how long it is

– Oh, my gosh It literally says on the packaging you're supposed to replace it every year Their whole business model is based on the fact that you can't keep it for that long – They made them so well that I've looked at this thing a million times, and there's absolutely no degradation on any part of it And I wash it every single time I use it

– You can't autoclave it, man You don't know how clean it is You wash it You rinse it You say you wash your feet too

– It's just stuff from my own face – But you just let soap run over your feet That doesn't count as washing your feet – You can't reinfect yourself with a virus or bacteria that you already have – But what about the stuff floating and landing on it? – There's nothing floating and landing on it

– We've been through this – Well, yeah, but your toothbrush is the same thing Your toothbrush, you've got crap all over it You have to replace your toothbrush every single day and take it out of a sterilized, sealed package if you wanted to avoid those germs – I do

– But to me, I think the thing that I come in contact with besides my ring and my fillings and my sealants every single day– – Check, check, check – Is my tongue brush, and it's so old It's seven years old – I got rid of mine not more than a year and a half ago So I kept mine for a long time too

– And you got rid of it not because it quit working You got rid of it why? – Because I stopped using it – You don't use a tongue brush anymore? – I don't I brush with the brush again – The brush doesn't work as well

– I know it doesn't – I mean Orabrush is no longer a sponsor of anything that we do but– – Are they still around? – I don't even know But they had a saying that was, a saying, it was a slogan, or it was just a fact, 90% of bad breath is caused by a dirty tongue And I wholeheartedly– – Still around, still kicking – Wholeheartedly believe that

– Orabrush, come back to us – You should be brushing your freaking tongue – We need you guys to be founding sponsors of our podcast – There's no– – I don't know what that means We'll call you that

– There's absolutely no excuse for 90% of bad breath – Save it – No freaking excuse! Such a pet peeve of mine – Save the ad copy for when we've got the deal in place – Clean your freakin' tongue and then rinse with 50% hydrogen peroxide, 50% water

Gargle with that crap once a month, you'll never have bad breath – I have– – I just saved your life – The oldest object for me, I just figure it out, is it's gotta be a t-shirt Like I had a– – Everyday though? – Until three years ago, oh, everyday, a lotta days – But you had that one that you slept in all the time

– Yeah, my math Olympiad t-shirt I got when I was in I think sixth grade, and I wore it up until three years ago – To sleep in every night – Yes, slept in it – Because you wanted to feel like a math champion every night? – Yup To balance my jockishness

(Rhett laughs) – Oh, gosh – I didn't say jock itchness I just wanna make sure that came – Yeah, I knew what you meant Oh, man

But you don't have that anymore You don't have your freakin' tongue brush – And you don't have your– – I knew something was up – You don't have your freaking retainer I feel so betrayed

– You haven't noticed my teeth getting crooked? – I haven't seen your teeth in five years – Yeah, that's why I don't care because you can't see my teeth – Right – My teeth could be any color You can't see 'em

My mouth is covered by my lips My teeth are covered by my lips, and then my mustache does the trick as well – Right You don't need to use that– – Total tooth coverage – Total tooth coverage

– Yeah I was gonna quit caring for my– – Alright, guys – Oral hygiene all together because it doesn't matter – Speaking of total tooth coverage, you know that we would totally cover your teeth in Ear Biscuits anytime you're podcasted up with us You can count on us every week to do this

– Every week – Every week, we'll come back at your ears We'll come back at your ears – Just be ready To hear this Ear Biscuit in its entirety and make sure you don't miss an episode, follow the links in the description to subscribe on Apple podcasts or anywhere else podcasts are available

– [Link] To watch more Ear Biscuits, click on the playlist on the right – [Rhett] To watch more of our daily show, Good Mythical Morning, click the playlist on the left – [Link] And don't forget to click the circular icon to subscribe – [Rhett] Thanks for being your mythical best

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