$163 Chipotle Burrito Taste Test | FANCY FAST FOOD

– How expensive can Chipotle get? – Let's talk about that (alarm rings) (playful theme music) (fire blasts) Good Mythical Morning

– And good Mythical news The fall Tour of Mythicality's coming to Toronto, New Jersey, and Connecticut on November 8th, 9th, and 10th, so get your tickets now at tourofmythicalitycom – But right now, Rhett and I have something that we are very excited to show you (burrito thumps) Our go-to Chipotle orders

I like to do a classic burrito con guacamole – And I like to get a little crazy by doing three different tacos, one carnitas, and one barbacoa And we have these for good reason That reason is today we are finally making all of our wildest Chipotle dreams come true as we step inside a fantasy land to build the fanciest and potentially most expensive Chipotle meals the world has ever seen – Oh yeah, that's right

It's the same fantasy land that brought us the fancy Taco Bell Cruchwrap Supreme, the fancy Big Mac, the fancy Chick-fil-A sandwich, and the fancy McGriddle Join us in the Mythical kitchen, won't you? It's time for Fancy Fast Food: Chipotle Edition Hello Josh – You're still here in the Mythical kitchen Do you ever leave? – The doors were locked last night so I kinda just slept here

– All right, so you've got all the super fancy versions of the ingredients – We have a flour tortilla from Burritos La Palma, and then we have Masienda red corn fried taco shells And then of course we have chips and those are dusted with a little bit of Jamaica salt – Ha-mica – For Micah

– We're also getting cheese, so what we have here is Vella Dry Jack and then this is called Quicke's goat cheddar and then of course creme fraiche 'cause like, it's just fancy sour cream Instead of using pinto and black beans, we're using Mayocoba beans – Oh I'm familiar – Yeah? – I'm the bean man – I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to assume

And then for the rice, we're doing morel, oat, barrel, aged, Charleston long rice And then we have extra fancy bay laurel – And it literally says– – [Together] Extra fancy! – And then we need a ton of vegetables I actually drove up about 200 miles to San Miguel where I actually dug up that onion myself – Did you log your miles? – I don't know what that means so no, I suppose not

– [Rhett And Link] Good – And the most important part is gonna be all of our meats, starting here, this is gonna be for our barbacoa, we're using American Wagyu short rib Instead of doing chicken, we're gonna do duck – Water chicken – Fancy

If you can afford waterfront property as a bird, then you're fancy This is pork shoulder from Iowa Swabian Hall, which is a breed of pig that an engineer actually revived and it was thought to have gone extinct in the 1800s due to German feudal politics – They Jurassic Parked a pig? – They Jurassic Parked a pig (Rhett whacking hand) It's a cross-breed between the Chinese Meishan hog and the Russian wild boar, the fattiest pig in the world and the most muscular pig in the world – Gosh, you're a genius, Josh! – Thank you

And then so the fanciest meat that we have in all of this is gonna be our grilled steak So this is imported Japanese A5 Kobe Wagyu rib calf, and we even have the certificate of authenticity that came with the cow – You didn't print that out, did you? – No, I didn't I framed it myself, that's why it's crooked All right so we're gonna cook this duck breast first

We're gonna cold smoke this – Yeah! – [Josh] So if you just drop that right there – Okay, so we're making like a duck breast aquarium? – That's exactly we're doing, it's more of a terrarium – Terrarium – Just dump most of them on the table, that's perfect

(Rhett and Link muttering over each other) – I can light fire! I can't use bags, man, but I can use fire – That's fine, no you guys just fight among yourselves That's cool – You just disqualified yourself – That's great

– You can hold the smoky, limp side, okay? – Fine – [Josh] And then you just hit the button right now and you'll actually see smoke start to fill this (button clicks) – Look at that – Don't do that! – Don't do that! – [Link] It's full, it's full – So we can kinda let that sit and then you guys ready to sous vide? – [Link] It looks like a printer

– It would probably not work if it was a printer That's all I'm gonna say – Switch this to operate – We're gonna have to call IT – It should just go (makes sucking sound)

– Let's do a countdown from seven to five – Great – [Together] Seven, six, five! (machine whirring) – [Link] Whoa – Let it go That's all it does

I didn't know if you were expecting more – Alexa, what is 25 centimeters in Fahrenheit? – Alexa, tell me a joke – Okay, Google, cook duck – So this is a Nova It's like Alexa's more functional cousin

It cooks things at a very steady temperature, so we're gonna do up to 150 degrees We're gonna leave it in there for about 12 hours I hope you guys brought your sleeping bags 'cause it's gonna be a long night – Whoo! – Whoo! I can't believe we just watched the entire director's cut of The Lord of the Rings trilogy – And 23 minutes of Eyes Wide Shut

– Now our duck's done, so the last step – Nope! – Well it's been cooking in the bag for a long time And so what we need to do is just cut that open All you're gonna do is putting it into a screaming hot cast iron and that's just gonna crisp up the skin We gonna let this cook for like two minutes and then we got fancy chicken

– What are we gonna watch in two minutes? – So a lot of people do a lot of funky stuff with carnitas I like two ingredients: pork and more pork – Oh – And so we're just gonna add that pork to this melted pork fat right here See it's all just kinda lardy

– [Link] Pork on pork on pork – Great, so we're just gonna let this hang out for six hours – Six hours? – Yeah – Man – Whoo! – Can't believe we just watched Dances With Wolves twice

– So we got a season up these short ribs It's gonna turn into a barbacoa So Link I have a fun task for you specifically So here's garlic right? – Hey hey hey! – This is called the ring the bell method What you're gonna do is you're gonna put another bowl on top of this bowl

– Okay – And you're gonna hold it tight – Hold it tight – And then you're gonna shake it as hard as you can and it should dislodge all the garlic (pans clanging softly) That's, as hard as you can– (pans clanging rapidly) – Yeah! Tatonka! (Josh yells) How's my hair? – So yeah, Rhett, if you just wanna cook those face down in this pan

Awesome, we need to impart some sort of smoky flavor to it, right What we're gonna use is Laphroaig Scotch It's known as the peatiest, smokiest brand of mainstream Scotch (cork pops) – Okay (Rhett groans gruffly) Oh, where does this go, on that? – If you're ready to do it, I'm ready to do it

I just have a glove and you should– – What do you mean, ready to do it? – Well I don't know– – There's gonna be fire You wanna do this? – That's the point – Oh no, I definitely don't wanna do this – [Rhett] Okay good (meat sizzles) – Holy moly! – There we go

And we're fine, and we're fine We're calm and we're fine and this is just gonna burn off, and no one got hurt Link, you're gonna toss in the garlic cloves – Oh yeah, just whole? – Yeah, just whole We're gonna put some water in there, cover it up, put it in the oven and we got about eight hours

(sighing) – I can't believe we just watched the YouTube video, how to crochet an autumn poncho for a dog 96 times – [Woman] This is the finished product – Yeah, if I watch it one more time, I think I'll have it – So we have our A5 Wagyu rib calf right here

It's cut pretty thin so all we wanna do is get like a super hard sear on it We need to season it first, so we have here– – Be gentle with your meat, man – It's called Sal de Gusano You guys wanna try this real fast? – Whoa! – It's really great, so what they do is they take the agave worm– – This is a worm? With salt? – Well it's a worm with salt It's called Sal de Gusano, it's super delicious

It's smoky, it's gonna add a nice smokiness to our beef – Whoo! It is smoky – If you just rub it in a little bit with your hands, it'll start to melt the salt into the fat And then if you just lay that salt side down, and we're working against the clock So do it fast, so it fast

That's beautiful All right, pull it out – Now, he says, now, now! Oh yeah (gentle music) – [Josh] All right then we're just gonna keep that up – [Rhett] What is this, Ghost? – What are we doing? – Just say, "I love you

" – I love you – Ditto – Ditto ditto – So most people use like a smoked pork product in their beans but I figure since we have so much of this delicious Kobe beef fat– – Let's use this again? – That Link seems to really love Just kinda blow smoke at that beef fat

I already smoked it earlier today, so whatever you do to it is just for fun and know that it's futile and also a metaphor for this entire process – All right we're good – [Josh] Put this beef into this pot – [Link] Smoky smoky – Okay, can I just say that beans are kinda sacred to me and I kinda just would like to do this on my own

If you guys could just support me in this – Yeah, absolutely, anything you need (suspenseful music) (Rhett chuckles and grunts) – That's good – It's a little too smoky You usually don't have the smoke, it's so gray

(martial arts grunting) (sighs) – Okay, now we'll just wait about 45 minutes and the beans should be done – Okay I can't believe we're still doing this joke – Yeah, let's drop it – So we're gonna add the chilies to the pan right now and then what you guys are gonna do is you're gonna blow torch them

– [Link] Fire! The pepper! – This is not a two-man job! – [Rhett] You getting tired? Let go, let go, let go! – Yeah those are looking pretty good (mixer whirring) – [Rhett] Stop! – Salsa time! So how is our guacamole gonna be more fancy? – We're gonna use a super traditional molcajete, that then which you actually, instead of dicing and mixing, you're actually gonna kinda smash the onions Great and so there's no wrong way to do it – [Link] What is the secret to guacamole tasting so good? – I think it's the right salt levels My Spanish teacher in college once told me, "Kissing a man without a mustache is like "eating an avocado without salt

" – Wow – We should taste this (gentle music) (Josh chuckles) – Needs more mustache All right Let's assemble

– Well at Chipotle you usually don't make your own – Welcome to Joshpotle, how may I help you? – I'll take a burrito with fancy white rice, fancy black beans, fancy steak And I will take the blistered shishito pepper fajita veggies You know what, throw on some medium salsa, and I'll take guacamole I know it's extra

I don't care if it's extra, I love it that much – Okay – Let's see how his roll job is Can you wear gloves? – No, I cannot wear gloves – Wow, he's really good at this

– Only the best at Joshpotle (burrito thumps) Thanks – I would like the taco trio One barbacoa, one duck, and one carnitas I'd like a little of the light colored beans as well

Is this as fun for you as it is for me? – Is it zero fun for you? – Maybe mild, medium and hot Just kinda run the gamut on the sauce, yeah Oh gosh How hot is that? – [Josh] Uh – Okay, and then a little sour cream, yeah

And some cheese – And lettuce? – No lettuce But how about a side of chips and guac? – All right, you two paying together, or? – Uh no, I'm not paying for him – He just kinda left (acoustic music) – Okay, let's taste these incredibly fancy versions of Chipotle

– Yes – Can I join? – Of course, Josh! – Oh, you wanna be part of this, Josh? – Yeah come on– – Kinda, if you don't mind – Come on in, we would love to have you – No problem! – Thank you – Belly up to the desk, buddy

All right, and let's reveal this amazing burrito Oh my goodness, look at that So put it on this and cut it open so we get a nice cross-section So there's a knife there (Rhett chuckles) – You don't have touch that

– Josh, you do the honors – [Rhett] Mm – There it is Boof Look at that

– [Rhett] That's beautiful, Josh – Thank you – Now what is this gonna run us? – So all total it's $16319 – That's a bargain! – And how much are the tacos and chips and guac? – That's $104 even

– $104 – Yeah – I'm gonna enjoy it then – Let's taste it and see if it's worth it But we should compare it to the Chipotle version

– The expensive one is much more colorful, on both counts, I mean, this almost looks sad – This is a lot of rice – That's all rice – It's all rice – That's where they make their money

– All right Link, take a bite of your fancy burrito I'll let you come to some conclusions and then I'll start eating my tacos Oh gosh, you inhaled a lot during that bite – That freaking steak, man, is breaking my heart, it's so good – Okay I'm going in for the duck

(taco crunches) – This is so right – Now I'm going in for the– – You got a little on your beard – Barbacoa – Man, you got a three-for-one over there – And now I'm going in

(Josh and Link chuckle) No, that was the carnitas Now the barbacoa – Got a little on your face where you– – Josh, I wanna kiss you right now Probably won't – Thank you

– Lean in – 'Cause I just ate three tacos – I know, but I want to experience what you're experiencing (gentle music) – I'm gonna taste this other burrito, but that's just sad – You know what, you can experience it

Take the back side of those tacos, man Fruit of your labor, now, just because we need to do the comparison, I am gonna grab one of these sad original Chipotle– – I mean I've bitten the Chipotle burrito and it is so much rice that it's just not right But this? Oh my gosh You gotta taste this burrito, Rhett Give me the best taco

Taste this burrito and tell me this isn't the best steak burrito, maybe the best burrito you've ever tasted You know what, you're gonna have to eat after one of us You can eat from that end – Okay – Well if you don't wanna eat after me

I wanna keep eating that – No, I'll honor it – I want you to– – It tastes so good, it feels like it should be wrong – I feel emotional – I feel shame

– There's no shame about this – Guys, we did it We somehow made the expense justified by the taste – Oh so you'd pay $163 every time for that – Definitely

– I think I might pay $104 for this Josh, you're a magic man – Thank you (gentle music) – Thank you for liking, commenting and subscribing – You know what time it is

– Hi, we're Mythical Beasts from Lithuania, Robertus– – And Laura – And we're here at the Biltmore Estate in North Carolina – And it's time to– – [Both] Spin the Wheel of Mythicality – Largest private residence in the continental United States – I would love to just take a private tour

Hit me up Click the top link to watch us use our fancy scraps to make fancy Chipotle nachos in Good Mythical More – Nacho! And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land – [Rhett] Having a naked phone is embarrassing But you can avoid that by popping into Mythical

store and buying some of our popsockets

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